Thursday, October 7, 2010

Love Letters to Japan

Always easier said than done
I have these sets of rules that I try to live my life by, but like all rules they're meant to be broken. There's this one rule in particular that I've been pretty good at following up until now.

Rule #49 (not in any particular order of importance):
Always tell everyone how you feel when you feel it.

--No left outs, because there might not be another chance to tell 'em or it might be too late. It's better to feel a moment of hurt or rejection than to live a life thinking "what if" and regrets. It's always so easy to give others your advice, but when it comes to following your own, you hesitate. Yeah, I'm hesitating.

It's okay, I forgive you
People can be so selfish sometimes that they don't see what they have in front of them. I guess it's human nature though to dwell on the past. There's only so many times that you can give things a try before it won't work. It pains me to see you make the same mistake over and over again, but who am I to step in and say stop.

But it's ok I forgive you. I know what it feels like to want something so bad so everything else but what you want is a blur. I was so selfish that I didn't see the door had closed already. Silly selfish me so stuck on the closed door that I didn't see that another one had opened waiting patiently for me to walk through.

Some mistakes you just gotta make on your own, even if it takes you a hundred times before you learn. Time's only wasting.

Friends have always heard me complain that I feel like a 40 year old trapped in my 12 year old looking self. And it's honestly true right now. I feel so exhausted from everything and everyone. I feel unsocial and that I'm too old to be going out to the bars/clubs every weekend. The view I had for myself when I was eighteen was definitely not what my reality currently is. I'm not going to let past dreams discourage me from what I want though, it's just motivation for me to get there.

Time after time
If you're lost
you can look
and you will find me
time after time
If you fall
I'll catch you
time after time

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