NYE

Goodbye 2010, you passed by just like every other year. When I look back, I'll smile. And if I was given the chance to go back and change anything, I'd laugh at the offer. Every choice, every decision, every fault, every single thing that happened brought me here and I'm happy with the person I've naturally become. Hello 2011, bring it on.
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Gibberish

They say the past is the past and when you’re moving forward you shouldn’t look back, but sometimes you gotta do just that, look back and ask yourself where you’ve been to realize where you are.

People can offer support, help, or a hand, but as we all get older we learn that there aren’t always going to be shoulders to lean on, calls will get left unanswered, and emails that’ll never get replied to. Sometimes we have to look at yourself and recognize your own potential to live.

*****

The year is coming to an end, and I’m seeing lots of people talk about New Year’s resolutions, changes, better things to happen, etc. Is it just me or do I find those things a little silly? Why do people wait til a New Year to start making things happen for themselves? Mind boggling people are.

2010 has been just like previous years. Went through things, been through things, encountered new faces, old faces, new places, revisited old places, etc. Made mistakes, hopefully learned from them, etc. All I got to say is that I’m just going to stay on my track, and if my track intertwines with other people’s then it does, I don’t need people who don’t need me in their lives. I’m not going to be the one who puts in efforts and tries to hold onto something that doesn’t want to be held onto.

*****

I was a little hurt and disappointed from a couple of friends last week, but it only made me realize so much more from it.

I’ve always had the tendency to fix and resolve problems and issues as soon as I can. I don’t like leaving things unresolved because I feel like the longer you leave things out in the open and questionable it just doesn’t get either parties anywhere. I’m going to move forward with things, people can hold onto it for as long as they want. I had so much hope for our friendships, but hope alone doesn’t make people realize the bigger picture.

*****

Everyone keeps telling me to be careful with your heart, but what about mine? Yes, I haven’t taken the best care of the hearts that have been put out there for me, and that’s why I’m going to use a different approach for us. I’m going to use time to my advantage because I’m scared that you’ll just be another infatuation.

Thank you for the best Christmas gift by the way. You honestly don’t know how happy I was when I opened up the homemade card.

*****

When you feel like you’re doing what’s best for yourself, no one’s opinions should matter, even of the ones that you care for.

This is necessarily the update that I wanted to get out today, but I can’t seem to think anymore.

Needs

I have so much I want to write. I need time to myself that doesn't include, cleaning, doing paperwork, to really just write and let everything out. Holding nothing back. I'm going to make that day be tomorrow.

I've been very happy lately. It's probably because I've let go of people and things that I don't need in my life.

People can hold onto things for however long they want, but I tend to move forward as fast as I can.

Christmas Quickie

In response to my previous post, I guess I got what I wanted: family time! Well semi family time. Yesterday's Christmas Eve gathering at a friend who's become family's house was phenomenal. I've known him and his family ever since we were in diapers. My parents and I came over along w/a few of my uncles and other friend's parents to eat, drink, sing, dance, play card games, and etc. I guess I could sit here and describe everything that we did, but it really wouldn't explain how awesome the night was.

I took a mini nap and the pics got posted all over facebook calling me "yeu" (which means weak in Vietnamese), but whatever, I drank a lot w/the goons, parents, uncles, etc. Right when I walked in the door Tanya (my uncle Quang's wife) and Chi Hang (Chu Lam's wife) had two shots ready for me.

Tanya: Tammy...I see on Facebook you're quite the party girl.

Me: hahah no....it's all just a front

Tanya: Don't lie to me...this is our first of many shots together Cheers!

My uncle let me carry his DSLR around to snap pics of everyone because he was too drunk to do it, and my cousin Nick was too lazy to, so I went around snapping up a storm. I can't wait for Nick to upload the pics on Facebook. (If you're reading this, hurry up!! hehe)

All of the parents, aunts, and uncles were also have a great time. The expressions I captured on camera says it all. Everyone was dancing, singing, drinking...ahh! You can see I was clearly deprived of large family get togethers....

My Christmas couldn't have started off any better. Round 2 and 3 tonight. (=

And Merry Christmas Everyone!! I hope everyone of you will have a warm, safe, and fun Christmas.

Marriage and Children

I normally don’t do much on FB but to keep in touch w/friends, and post lots of food pictures and how I’m feeling for the status, but I was distracted and didn’t want to finish what I started so I took a quiz on marriage potential. Obviously, the quiz isn’t going to tell you whether you are or not with a few broad questions, but I couldn’t agree more with the results.

Apparently, I am the modern wife: a wife who doesn’t mind doing household things, and will help the husband out financially. True, I don’t mind cooking and cleaning, and I would have no problem whatsoever being the breadwinner of the household. Besides, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It could be because I have a lot of pride, but I like independence. If I’m depending on my husband for everything (even financially), what will I get left with when he’s gone (I don’t believe in divorces so when he’s gone I mean on a business trip, accidents can happen, etc life is crazy anything can happen)?

And the thing with babies, children, and kids? All of my friends know I don’t like them, but it’s not that I don’t like them it’s just I’m uncomfortable around them. I’m a clumsy person, and babies/children are delicate. I can name a handful of times where I’ve accidently made babies/children cry because I nearly dropped them, ran into them, and pushed them, etc in the past.

And I’ve never really cared for being around them until recently. A friend of mine has been nice enough to allow me to come to family events, and the person has a huge family. I mean I do also, but we’re not all close knit like they are. I envy that, watching my friend’s family being so close and watching TV. shows like Brothers and Sisters (one of my favorites) makes me want to have a big family and start all of these traditions. But anyways, while going to all of my friend’s family events these past three months, I’ve gotten to get to know a lot of the kids in the family (the person’s nieces and nephews) and they have gotten to know me. I love showing up at their houses or at Chucke Cheeses and having all of the kids run up to me saying “Hi Tammy!!” or them including me in on their games. And one by one each of them are slowly adding me on Facebook too. Which I don't mind, but there's some things I post on there which shouldn't be seen by them.

I’ve never been more comfortable hanging out with kids than I have now, and seeing them happy from the smallest simplest things puts me in a great mood.It just stinks because it makes me sad that I never see any of my nieces and nephews, or baby cousins as often as I should be for their birthdays and holidays.

Dilemma

I'm currently stuck in a dilemma between standing my ground and cutting the person who took advantage of my trust or forgiving 'em because I want to be the better person. Even if I were to cut 'em out, it's not in my nature to cut someone off forever. I tend to always see good in someone no matter how they fucked me over. I believe a person can change, maybe not overnight, but are we ever really the same person we were yesterday?
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Instant satisfaction

It wasn't something I wanted to be right about, but your actions just proved me right. I have a low tolerance for people who can't be honest with me, and even more so, someone who sat there continually lying to me to try and keep me apart of their life. Here's a hint: try being honest instead, I'll be upset for a few minutes or even a few days, but at least your time in my life won't be up.

Lists

We can't be friends:

If you can't take sarcasm; I speak it fluently.

If you look the other way when things get bad; I'd be down for you when things are bad, I expect the same.

If you can't laugh at yourself; we all do stupid things, learn to laugh at it.

If you easily get offended and can't take criticism; I'm a very blunt person, learn to take it all in. I have good intentions.

If you can't be honest with me in return; hate hate liars, and people who can't tell me what's up when I ask for it.

Some pet peeves:

-people who work in the customer service field and they obviously don't know how to be in the field

-people who makes something so simple so complicated

-people who JUDGE (I've been all about this lately)

-people who say one thing, but do another

-when you know better to not do something, but you do it anyways because you simply can't help it

-when you remember things to say to the other person AFTER you've just sat there talking/explaining/arguing with them

-Disney movies that give false hope to little girls and little boys making them expect a "lived happily ever after" life

I'm tired, there was more I wanted to write but I can't get the words out.

Old, but this song has been on repeat. The lyrics.

• I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart is the moon, and I'm aiming right at you
  
• You must be a sorceress cause you just did the impossible; Gain my trust don't play games it'll be dangerous
• Nobody knows me I'm cold, walk down this road all alone. Its no one's fault but my own
  Its the path I've chosen to go. Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so. Don't ask me why I have no love for these motherfucking hoes
• You want them when they don't want you, soon as they do feelings change. Its not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate. I wasn't lookin but I stumbled onto you must've been fate, but so much is at stake what the fuck does it take. Lets cut to the chase. But a door shuts in your face. Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open that I wont be making a mistake

The battle between what is right and what I want.

What is one to do when they’re stuck between knowing what is right for them, but what one wants is completely different? –I get it, everyone seems to know what’s right for me, and they only want the best for me. But I’ve been down that path before, not once, but twice. How many times do I have to walk down that same path and have it not work out before people will realize that it’s just not meant to be? I talk about making mistakes and learning from them, and well I’ve made the same mistake twice now, I don’t want to make it a third. But I will admit, I’ve thought about it.

*****

The reason why I try to stick it out with any of my relationships whether it is a friendship or a romantic one is because starting over sucks. Sure it can be pleasurable and enjoyable getting to know someone new, but there’s so much vulnerability that comes with that also. You don’t know how much of yourself you should put out there at first, whether the person genuinely wants to be your friend or are there ulterior motives for their newly presence in your life, whether or not you should trust the things that are coming out of their mouths, etc..

I know who to keep close by, who to keep at a distance, and who to never give more than a simple “Hi, how are you doing?” a genuine smile, and maybe even a hug. The ones I keep close are the few who’ve seen all of me. I’ve shown them my vulnerability, my potential, who I am when I’m angry, sad, happy, etc…these are the people who know all of me and despite the imperfect person that I am, they choose to continue to stay by my side. In a perfect world, all of my friends would be people who are like that, but the world isn’t perfect and unfortunately not everyone gets to see all of me. That doesn’t mean I’m fake towards them, it just means I know my limitations on how much I allow others to see because they don’t deserve all of me.

Nonetheless, starting over is scary. Emotions and vulnerability is scary. There should be a handbook on how to deal with these kinds of things.

Scary eh?

*****

Apparently I'm a bad person for not caring about what others say about me, or how others feel towards me. Look at my face and tell me ifl I give a flying mosquito? I used to care, but it withheld happiness from me, so I cut that factor out of my life and voila, I'm a bad person. A bad person that still doesn't care. ^_~

*****

Me: why are you being all secretive now huh?

SS: cause i am like a clam at the bottom of the atlantic ocean

Me: well i'm swimming to the bottom of the atlantic and i'm going to pry it open

SS: impossible...

SS: but maybe i will wash up on the beach where you are tanning

Me: and while i'm looking for sea shells i find you

Me: pick you up and put you in my pocket

Winter Kisses

I'm so addicted to this song

Who doesn't like tacos?

SS: You are soft like a soft taco and free like a wild horse. I think that is very cool.
Me: )= soft like a taco?
Me: I'm sad...I want to be hard like a hard shelled taco
SS: even though i enjoy hard shell tacos... i like you soft better than hard


Messy hair w/no makeup...I need to figure out what to do w/it. Bangs, short cut, dye it, layer it, etc..SUGGESTIONS PLEASE.

<3this

Sometimes I don't know how I do it. But I guess that's the difference between being mature and immature. When you can bite your tongue and ignore what someone says. I'd probably argue back if it was six months ago but I realize I shouldn't waste my breath and time on someone that isn't going to change.

Learn some respect bitch.
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Quickie

Today is Friday, and there are a couple things I could do today like a friend's birthday party that everyone keeps talking about or going downtown for a friend's going away deal, but honestly I just wanna spend the night in watching a movie, playing card games, or eating with a few close friends. That's what I have planned for tomorrow besides a friend's nephew's birthday extravaganza and a friend cooking me dinner, but we'll see, let's focus on tonight first. What to do?

I skyped w/a friend yesterday morning which got me hyped up for winter break. So many things to check off my to-do list:

[]-sledding
[]-ice skating
[]-tubing
[]-skiing/snowboarding
[]-build a snowman
[]-make a gingerbread house
[]-cabin w/close friends
[]-card games (poker, spades, bay cao, tien lien, guthay, etc)
[]-make an ornament
add to this list if more comes to my mind later (=

I went to see The Black Swan last night w/Tiff. And this is what was running through my mind while watching it:

-besides complainers, there is nothing that irks me more than an insecure, weak minded, and naive girl. That was Natalie Portman's character during the movie...and I wanted to punch her the whole time.
-I found my Halloween costume for next year: The Black Swan
-the movie definitely wasn't something I expected, in a good way
-the mom is a psycho
-the girl on girl action was...DAMN
-I thought the ending was quite beautiful and made the entire movie even though I wanted to punch N.Portman the whole time

3 1/2 stars out of 5, but I'll let you be the judge of it.

*****

Sometimes, just sometimes I hate being the straight foward, mean, bitch. Everyone thinks I can say things without people getting mad at me because that's just how I am. Like I have no consideration or feelings for how others would react to the things I say and do...but I do. Only to those who matter to me of course.

To me a real friend is someone who'll call you out when you're wrong and someone who isn't afraid to criticize you because they only want the best for you. So listen to me when I tell you something, it's not because I want to change you, but it's because I see something that's bothering not only myself but others around you also. I don't mean to diss you or anything...if a friend can't call you out on your wrong doings, who the hell will?

I love criticism, if no one spoke up and told me things that I did or things that needed to be changed then I wouldn't be who I am today.

*****

A friend emailed me this script of a play he's reading for his cross cultural class because he thought I'd enjoy it. At first I'll admit the play was kind've boring, especially the first five pages, I kind've wanted to quit, but I read on and I can't keep my eyes off of it.

The play is called The Domestic Crusaders by Wajahat Ali, and it's about a Pakastani family living in America with different generations in their household. Tons of stuff us Asians can relate to, or well, that I can relate to at least. If anyone is interested in it and want a copy I can email it to you. I'm only a little into Act II but so far it's one of those that I can't put down. The friend and I are looking into contacting Mr. Ali to try and get him to bring the play to Minneapolis. If he is, I'd do mad marketing for him. Yes, it's that good.

*****

I've been meaning to dry clean my UGGs boots and my Gucci purse, but I remembered I got the boot cleaner last year when I got the boots so I thought I'd try and save myself $40-$80 on dry cleaning and watch the boots myself and it came out pretty decent! The sheepskin isn't as soft as I first got them, but hey, at least they're clean and wearable now.

Before...I had them in my car over the summer and a friend threw up on them /=

After...voila! Almost like new. (= When I got them, they had the boot stuffed with this cardboard thing and I saved it in the box, so I instead of using newspaper to stuff the boots with after cleaning like instructed on the bottle, I just used the cardboard stuffer.

*****

I hate being an over analyzer. Over thinking everything just ruins the surface simplicity of things. Choices and decisions. What to do?

Always

“Before giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.”

Even though it may screw me over in the end with my energy and time that I don’t have to begin with, but I can never walk away without knowing that I tried everything in my power to make it work. Sure, I could quit and walk away from everything that we both have been working hard to get this friendship, relationship, bond to where it is today, but that’d just be too easy. The idea of being left with lingering thoughts of “what if” is something I’m not willing to settle for. It’s just in my human nature to always have hope, hope that in the end we’ll still be there for each other, that one, five, ten, twenty years from today we’ll look back and laugh at all of our memories that we’ve created.

That’s another reason why I have so many good friends whom I’ve known for years on end, and why I was in a 5 ½ year relationship, I prefer long lasting bitter sweet possibly lifetime relationships over short sweet ones. The sweet just ain’t as sweet without the bitter. There’s no such thing as a relationship that doesn’t go through bumps on the road.

"Whenever we give up something we really care about, we hope that the universe will reward us with our selfless choice. However, it's not always fate that gives us a gift, sometimes it's someone closer to home." -G.G.

Pow

There are three things in life that you cannot control:

Time, your feelings, and death.

So make your time worth it, make sure everyone knows how you feel about them, and tomorrow is never promised so live for today.

*****

"Sometimes u just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they’ll notice. If they don’t, u know where you stand."

What if you distance yourself, and not only do they notice the distance, but they also call you out on it and ask why. I want to holster my guns, I want to let my pride down, but I'm not used to that. I have too much pride to put everything down for this one possibility. So I try to distance myself, but that only works for a good day or two before I give in again. I hate that I don't a better control over this.

*****

So I recently just found out about something when a friend told me. I kind've knew before she confirmed my thoughts, but I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know if I should continue to go with the flow and let things develop or not develop or if I should cut the person off like I usually do. But I guess I'll never know unless I give things a try?

*****

A few friends and I are already planning our New Years Eve, and I'm so excited for it. If things go well, I'll be so happy. One week away, and when I come back it'll be a weekend away w/some other close friends for a trip up north for snowboarding/skiing/sledding at a friend's cabin.

I just wish my uncle would've followed through with our plans for winter break. He's making his way around the Midwest to visit a few of our family members, last I heard he was in Chicago and probably making his way up here. So hopefully I'll get to talk to him. I'm a little disappointed, but I should've known better than to expect much out of him. Most of the people from my dad's family is known for just talking but not following through with walking. It's irritating, but like I said I should've known better than to get my hopes up. Hong Kong, I'll come to you one day on my own terms.

*****

I really want to see this!

This has been on repeat for the past two days.

I didn't get home til 4:06am and...

Me: What are you still doing up? It's super late and I know you're super tired.
Person: I was waiting for you get home safe.

^__^
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I just had to let it out

I guess I’m a bitch because I say what and how I feel when I feel it without sugarcoating. I guess I’m selfish because I don’t give a fuck what others think about me besides my immediate family and a handful of good friends. I’m a bad friend because after trying to resolve a problem for awhile, I finally stopped. I’m always going to be perceived a certain way by people and that’s why I don’t give two fingers what people think and I’m learning to not care what good friends think about me either because obviously they don’t know who I am. And I forgive you for thinking you know me when you don’t.

There’s a reason why I don’t care for anyone’s happiness but mine. There’s a reason for why we all think a certain way, act a certain way, and feel a certain way. We’ve all gone through different things in our lives to get us to where and who we are that’s why I don’t judge, but there’s still a lot of you out there who still have to realize that. You say you’ve been in my position to know what I’m feeling, well guess what? You don’t.

I guess there’s a reason for it all and I’m completely fine with that now. I’ve accepted the fact that things happen, mistakes happen, life lessons were taught, friends lost, and life goes on. I’m not going to stop my life for anyone because life doesn’t stop for me. You gotta play the game if you’re trying to win the game.

I've been just trying to do my own thing and whoever wants to join me along my track they can.

*****

An open letter to you

You’re right, it’s sad that it had to take a month for us to get together to talk and when we finally did things seemed to get worst than before. And the only reason why I’m even writing this right now is because I feel like this is the only way I can try to get you to hear me out and listen to me without you sitting there screaming at me. But I know why we weren’t able to accomplish anything we’re both very stubborn people and when two stubborn people get together to talk, none of us listens, especially when neither of us is scared to hold anything back.

I get why you feel the way you do, I get why you feel like you’ve lost respect for me, and I get why you’d be angry. I told you already, I apologized the second you told me what happened, and I tried to work things out, but there is only so much I can do on my end. If the other person isn’t willing to meet me half way. Just like with our relationship, we both could only try so long to talk before the both of us gave up. I valued our friendship and I still do that’s why I’m even attempting to write this sorry ass thing on my blog. I should be telling you all of this in person, but I don’t think you’d listen. Whether you care anymore or not I just gotta do this so I know I’ve tried one last time before letting everything go.

When I put my Facebook status about “The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.” It was directed towards you. You are a good friend, you’ve always been there when I needed you, and you were always someone I could go to when I needed an honest opinion on anything, but what I didn’t appreciate that night was when you said “Fine, go be friends with all of those fake bitches, I’m the only real one.” You aren’t the only real one friend that I have, they’re all real in their own way. Just like you’re real because you’re blunt. But I know I said things that made you if not equally or more angry also and I apologize. In the heat of an argument sometimes we all say things we don’t mean. I don’t expect our relationship to get back to “normal,” I don’t even expect our relationship to even continue, but I’m not a quitter, and I’m willing to talk, work, whatever it is we have to do to make this a lasting relationship but that’s on my end, you have to decide on your end too. And whatever you decide I’ll respect because like I said we all view, feel, and think differently than each other.

*****

From my previous post "np colbie cailiet - I never told you", I wrote traits I thought would make a successful relationship (friendship, romantic, family, any kind of relationship) But I failed to add on in there and it is compromise.

Dashes, touches, and sprinkles to a strong relationship

Honesty; no holding back, the brutal blunt ones are what I love. If you can't be honest w/yourself, your family, your friends, and especially w/your significant other, then who the hell can you be honest with? Lies will only lead to more lies, and the more you lie the more you forget what you lied about...truth comes out. It only takes a second to tell the truth, but a lifetime to cover up a lie. Save yourself the time.

Loyalty; be faithful to yourself, family, friends, and significant other. I think the hardest people to be loyal to is yourself and your s.o. Be faithful to yourself by putting yourself first. It's your life, everyone else has their own, do what it takes to make yourself happy first. And with your s.o. if you feel the need to cheat on them emotionally or physically, break it off. No one deserves the heartache.

Respect; there's no need to talk down, fight (verbally and physically) w/anyone in public. Save that for when you're in the comfort of your own home, besides the physical abuse. that should never happen. But respect yourself enough to not say anything in public, it's tacky and no one needs to hear it.

Lots of hot sex; this only applies to a relationship w/your s.o. because incest isn't cool. But admit it, the same kind of sex gets boring after a week. Spice it up, be spontaneous, be public, anything...keeps you from straying, and also keeps your s.o. from doing so.

Look good; this one I feel is important because if you don't feel good inside, and feel good physically, then you're going to have a low self esteem. And low self esteem holds every kind of relationship from growing, especially the one that you have with yourself. So exercise regularly and keep your self esteem high, you'll be happier all of the time.

Trust; if you can't trust yourself, family, close friends, and s.o. then that's already a problem. Trust I feel is a foundation for all relationships, and we all know without a good, solid, stiff foundation things break and crumble. Besides if you can't trust 'em, then you shouldn't have a relationship w/them in the first place.

...these are not in any order.

Compromise: Sometimes both people aren't going to understand where the other person is coming from. But instead of giving up and letting everything you two have worked hard for in the past to get to the strong union you two have today, you have to learn to compromise. Even if it's just agreeing to disagree. Just try to see where the other person is coming from even though you still believe in what you see in the situation. It doesn't mean you're giving up what you think is right yourself, you're just also trying to see the light in what the other person is coming from.

Annoyed

I hate how when I'm driving home I'm all drowsy and tired, but the second I walk through the door I'm wide awake. I was going to attempt to blog last night (early this morning) since I had a bajillion of things to say, but opted to wait for this moment to do so instead, and now I can't think of anything I wanted to say. Fudgeeeeee nugget!

I'm sure w/time it'll all come flowing back. Notebook and pen I have you handy.

*****

You can see that I've hardly gotten any sleep, but I'm still up ^__^

*****

I've been listening to this song on repeat since three in the morning:

Woke up this morning
Heard the TV sayin' something
'Bout disaster in the world and
It made me wonder where I'm going
There's so much darkness in the world
But I see beauty left in you girl
And what you give me let's me know
That I'll be alright

Tong Hua (童话) Cover - English/Chinese + Violin/Trumpet by Jason Chen & J...

A friend sang this song to me in Chinese a month or two ago, now I know what it all translates into (obviously the translation does not apply to my friend and I but 80% of the music I listen to is because of the lyrics) ^___^

Hello, December.

I'm strong because I know what it's like to be weak. I keep my guard up because I know what it's like to believe a lie.

Been there done that, and after all of it, this is who I am.

*****

A: "I want you to tell me because you want to, not because I'm asking you to."

It's funny how I have no problem telling things to Blogspot, my notebook, or strangers, but I hesitate when it comes to people who need to hear it the most.

*****

December is here. In four days it would've been mine and Thinh's 6th year. In 25 days it'll be Christmas, and in 31 days it'll mark the last day of 2010. Time's always been moving too fast for me, but lately it seems like it's been extra fast. Of course that's how it always works; when I want things to slow down it doesn't.

*****

Today I got the pleasure of going to a friend's dad's restaurant. A friend of mine needed to interview our friend's dad for his cross cultural class paper, so we went there and he did his thing w/the questions. The man is so sweet and wise, he even reminded me of my own father. The two could become good friends, but there would be a language barrier since both speak relatively better in their native language (my father's Vietnamese and my friend's dad Chinese). He eventually turned the questionnaires on me, but I didn't mind. The only questions I hesitated on answering was the one's on what my parents do for a living (I've always hated it when friends or strangers ask me this because immediately they'd get judgmental). When my friend was done questioning the man we had dinner w/him and two other men who worked at the restaurant. Delicious food they served and great laughs we had.

Mr. Kwan: "No matter how delicious the food, eating without company the food would be tasteless."

--One of the many things he said in the evening that I couldn't agree more with. I love talking to elder people who are open minded.

I'll definitely be back not only to eat, but also to visit Mr. Kwan.

P.s. The restaurant is in Eden Prairie called Red Moon Cafe. Check it out!

*****

My parents are back and they are home safe. Thank goodness. They're already planning their next vacation which is good, I want them to get out more. I can't wait until I am well off myself so I can provide for them the way they have for me. They deserve the break. They deserve to see the world.

Mom: "It's so nice to finally go on vacation, get a break from everything. Now I know why you love traveling so much."

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Coincidence? I think yes.

It's pretty amazing how everytime I think of you, you'd magically appear. From this morning to the second I woke up from my nap.

Stop it you.

ok you people can assume now who this is about.
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Things that make me happy #'s 20-29

20. unexpectedly running into friends you haven't seen in a long time, and having a great night w/them (Friday)
21. peeing w/the door open
22. singing to a song I currently like while listening to it infinitely til I get sick of it
23. relating to a movie and/or book you're reading
24. wearing clothes that came straight from the dryer
25. succeeding in something you thought you couldn't do (ex: last week I thought I couldn't do a 90 into a parking spot but I did hehe)
26. seeing old couples hold hands (a friendly reminder that true love does exist in this crazy world)
27. hearing someone's heart beat
28. phone calls from mom and dad (even out of their fun trip they remembered to take time out of it to call me <3)

29. Finding a clean pair of underoos after I thought I ran out. (I hate doing laundry and I have a tendency to let it pile up until I absolutely need to do it)

Oh and this song. I recently just found out about it, and even though I feel old, this song makes me feel young. <3

Just a Quote

...that I feel suits right now w/all of my relationships w/people.

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you are a good person and a good friend. What is meant to be will end up good if what is not won’t. Relationships are worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for.

I know what it is!

I think I just miss my parents like crazy. They've been gone since tuesday night and ever since they've left I haven't been eating or sleeping much. I call my mom every night to see how everything's doing but it doesn't do justice for actually having them home. I hope they're having a good time in Vegas...it's their first real vacation since our family went to Vietnam my freshman year in high school.

It's just bothering me because my little brother while driving him home from school one day he asked me when my parents were leaving, and I told him what day and etc and he goes "oh, well I had a dream that mommy and daddy's plane crashed. I woke up w/tears." This is coming from a person who never cries, and is angry all of the time. I know it's silly to think that the dream might come true, but I'll sleep better and have an appetite once they're home safe. <3
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Too proud

I'm going to holster my guns, and let my pride go. My friends are right, I hold my pride up too high that I've been missing out on things. Now if only I did this eight months ago, things probably would've been different. But I don't like thinking about the 'what if's' it's all about the what now's.

Can I, save you from you?

It's official

I'm gonna get off this whole social networking stuff for good. Even my blogs. I'm too ridic when I can't remember things from the night before, which seems to be the pattern now a days.
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Kids say the darnest things

Jayden: Tammy who are you texting? Your boyfriend???
Me: NoOoOOOo I don't have a boyfriend
Jayden: Na uh Uncle __________ is your boyfriend. Wherever you go he is with you
Andrew: OoOoOoOhh caught red handed.

btw, I honestly don't have a boyfriend.
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This is what friends are for

I'm too good of a friend, especially to this person.

I just wanna sleep.
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Oh you fancy huh?

Friday:

Spent the day going to Toys ‘R Us to buy two little kids a birthday present and then the mall. Where a friend and I took pictures and sang karaoke in a giant freezer for free Colombia hats. Then off to Elixir I went for a friend's 21st Birthday.

Here's the pictures of us in the giant freezer. There are bigger copies of each photo but I'll save that for myself. haha it was pretty embarrassing, but spontaneously fun. Oh and definitely not posting the video of us singing Nelly's "Hot in here"

Saturday:
Went to a friend's nephew's birthday at Chucke Cheese and won a bunch of tickets and gave em away to the kids. After Chucke Cheese, we went over to his sister's house to eat some more and watch Kaleb open his presents. He's such a mama and daddy's boy! After that was the Black and White party downtown at the Grand Hotel. Got ready and pregamed w/a few friends that got a couple of rooms, then went down to the actual party downstairs. Saw a lot of old faces that I haven't seen in a really long time and it was nice to catch up with everyone again, but I don't think I could do this every weekend like I used to. Here's the pics (thanks Kevin for letting me be in charge of the camera since I still have yet to replace my battery):

The roads on the way home was horrific. Thank goodness we got home safe and everyone we knew got home safe. ^_^

Sunday:

Woke up and got lunch w/everyone at Kimson. It's not my favorite Vietnamese restaurant in Minnesota, but it was close and we wanted something quick, for we all had our own personal business to attend to after lunch.

this is the only thing I'd recommend from this restaurant...the beef and potatoes.

banh xeo (vietnamese pancake thingys. I still make it better.)

eggs rolls w/vermicelli noodles

Afterwards, I went home and took my mom shopping and out to dinner. Since it was her last free day before her and my dad leave on vacation for a little over a week. It was mostly her shopping since I have enough clothes, but I don't ever remember her being so materialistic...I talked her out of getting a Gucci purse that was about double one of my car payments a month. After a little shopping we went to Tucci Benucch for dinner. I haven't gone there in a really long time (I think the last time was "prom" w/some close friends back in my senior year in high school). The food was not worth it for the ridiculously overpriced "italian" food that they offered.

I decided to steer away from my usual and got the gnocci w/garlic stir fried spinach and shrimp...my first time ever trying it and it was okay. it doesn't even taste like pasta. it tastes like straight up cheese. it was okay, kind've needed some getting used to. but not worth $18.

My mom got the fettuticini alfredo w/salmon...$17 (could've definitely made this at home for so much less.)

After shopping and eating dinner w/mom, I went home and left after a couple of hours and met up with a friend on the U of M campus to eat some more. Arrived at Village Wok around 10ish and lost track of time and didn't leave til 12:30am. 0_0 but I don't mind, I love having conversations over meals w/friends. Village Woke is a Chinese restaurant, it's decent (wouldn't be my first choice for Chinese food), but it's open late and was convenient.

my friend wanted something spicy so after a long ten minutes of staring at the menu he finally opted for the pad thai...it was okay. but what did you expect from a Chinese restaurant trying to make a thai/lao dish?

I got the bbq pork w/noodles. Something I get often, because it never lets me down no matter where I order it especially for the low low price of $7 a bowl.

That was my long yet short, weekend. I cannot wait for Wednesday to roll around. hehe ^_^