Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I am really a simple person. it all boils down to two things:
1) don't waste time
2) be happier than the day before

a coworker asked me the other day why i'm always so happy, I just laughed and said because i'm alive. he obviously didn't believe me, and told me what he thought. but that's all there is to it. I am given another day, another second that many aren't.

that's why I don't waste my time on petty things. that's why if something upsets me I say it, forgive, and move on. that's why I do and don't do a lot of things.

I just ask myself, will this make me happy? if not, it is a waste of time.

-talk about burning myself out, I totally just jinxed myself
-you know you work too much when you spend 15hrs a day at work, stay up thinking about work, and when you finally fall asleep you dream about work. this can't be life. and I enjoy what I do!
-do you want to know how I feel or what I think? because sometimes I can't differentiate between the two. typical heart v.s. head
-first, what are goals? second, plan to make goals happen. third, track progress and make adjustments along the way if necessary.
- first, I have goals. but plan A and plan B. it's funny because I've always tools that plan b just distracts you from plan a, but life happens and suddenly you're thinking about a completely different plan for yourself.
-second, at the moment step one to both plans do not require any money, just commitment. and if you know what my past looks like the only things I have allowed myself to commit to are: family, friends, fun, and food (what I like to call the quadruple F's).
-after talking to a close friend of mine over the weekend I have come to realize:
•I have never allowed myself to fully "feel". anytime I get close to it, I ruin whatever it is have before I get a chance to.
• people have this expectation that i'm some super human who is immune to pain. although that is partly my fault for lettingthem perceive me that way
-fate will only lead you so far before you have to start making it happen for yourself. if you truly want something you'll everything you can to make it happen. if not you'll make excuses for not trying harder.
-I've always viewed emotions as being weak. if you ever showed any, you're weak.
-I will try to sleep now.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Things That Make Me Happy #'s 80-89

80. Crossing something off your bucket list; San Francisco and everything about it (riding the trolley, hiking up the hills, Fishermen's Wharf, The Golden Gate Bridge, etc)
81. Being spoiled; dinner is always ready when I get off work, coffee is always made when I get up, being so busy I haven't had time to listen to new music and he burned me 3 new cds to enjoy in the car. There's no question about it, he definitely spoils me.
82. His coffee. He makes it w/just the right amount of milk and cream that isn't too sweet for me. No more black coffee for me!
83. When a person enjoys something you recommended.
84.When I am leaving the ramp and the machine says $7.25...wayyy better than the usual $12.50
85. Hearing my close friends give me shit for finally settling down.
86. Licking the yogurt lid clean.
87. When the 2-pack of Starburst has both your favorite flavors.
88. Finding something you have in common w/a complete stranger (I do this a lot w/my clients and it eases the conversation).
89. Hearing good results from the dentist (I went on Monday and nothing but good news!), because clean and healthy teeth = a healthy body.

the two driving forces behind our decisions are fear and love. you CHOOSE to do something because you are afraid of what the outcome will be if you don't. you CHOOSE to do something because you love something/someone so much.

ex: I choose to go to school because I fear my opportunities will be limited if I don't have a degree.

ex: I choose to stay in touch with my family even if I don't see them everyday because I love them a lot and I am afraid that this may be the last time I will get to talk to them (my whole thing on life is short).

off topic: i hate blogging on my new phone. the ugly tmobile banner is making my blog ugly!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

things I am thankful for:

-my family; I am thankful they are all healthy and alive. I am thankful to be sitting in the living room watching football with my younger brother. thankful to be waiting on delicious food my parents are preparing for lunch. and thankful I will get to spend some quality retail therapy with my sister and her bf who has turned into our own family member over the years.
-my friends; although work and having someone consume so much of my time, I am thankful they understand, are there for me and sts happy for me
-work; in a time where so many are struggling I am thankful for my 70 hour Weeks. And I am also thankful for my funny and awesome co workers whom i enjoy seeing daily
-the past 23 years; everything happened because it was supposed to, everything is together, and I am truly blessed to be given another day on this beautiful world.