Do me

i’m just trying to get, get it, don’t worry about me,
need to take a look at yourself!
i’m just trying to get it, get, no time to play around,
take this shit somewhere else!

da brat > nikki...what you know bout them old school rappers?!

I've always been aggressive at making things happen for myself. If I want something I go out and get it, so it's hard when all I can do is wait around for something that you know might never happen but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you want. At least it is for now.
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I love it that when I walk in the door everyone yells "The party is here!"
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The question

At every job I've had I always meet new people and with them they bring their curiosities. A question I always get is: "What do you look for in a guy?"

And my answer has and always be: "Just someone who'll make me happier than I already am."

I told a coworker that on Tuesday b/c he asked me and he goes "well what will it take to make you happier then?"

Honestly, I don't know. I'm already extremely, very, content, and happy with the way everything is in my life that I can't possibly see how much better it can get. I have my family, friends who have turned into family, a job I love, and I work with people I enjoy seeing everyday...I really don't know how another person can influence everything to make it better.

Things are just the way it's supposed to be.
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I think too much.
My head should be bigger than what it is.
Not because I'm smart or anything...
My mind just won't stop. EVER.

And the worst part is
I've been so busy drowning myself in work
that I haven't had time to reflect, write, blog, talk about it all.
They're happy thoughts though.
Most of it anyway.

I find it amazing that I always manage to get what I want.
But shit always changes once I get it.
It's like I underestimate my own potential
and when I get it things just aren't what I thought it was.
That's what I get for having expectations though.

Ya know I never was one to put work before anything.
Especially before family, friends, and fun.
But this weekend I did.
If it were any other job I would've called in, made up some bullshit excuse, anything
to get out of working and would have went camping, downtown, uptown, and a family dinner
but instead I declined all invites and worked.
Funny. It's not the money I'm trying to make. It's my dreams.

I've never been one to take my studies seriously either.
It's always the bare minimum to get me by in school.
But this time the bare minimum isn't going to get me to make this happen.
So far this new gig has taught me discipline.
Something an untamed girl needs.
Can't go flyin' anywhere anytime I want to.

Changes baby changes.
Like I said, the first of June felt like New Years.

You can always tell how much a guy is into you if he's being himself or not. Sure most girls would say "why can't he just act like himself."

Well because...if you were someone other than just any other girl out there he'd want to impress you. And if impressing you means not being himself then so be it right? The true colors will eventually come out, let him try a little harder than usual and soak in the fact that this guy is a little looney b/c he thinks you're special.
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This Russian family sitting next to me on the LTR is so adorable. The kid looks like he's in his teens and he doesn't seem to be going through that weird awkward stage 90% of most teenagers do w/their parents. He's conversing w/them and even sharing a chocolate bar w/them. So cute. Too bad I wasn't like that when I was a teen. But it's never too late for anything right?

Speaking of family. Mummy called to ask if I wanted to join them at Hong Kong Noodle for dinner, but I declined b/c of work. #determination
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Why I do what I do

We started out as a group of 14 people, and it's only been a week and now we're down to seven. I'll be honest, going into the position I thought to myself and even told myself that this will be easy peazy. Just a little studying, some sales, and building rapport w/coworkers and potential clients...nothing I haven't done before so it should be a piece of cake right? Too bad it's not. The exam my group and I have been studying for has a nation pass rate of under 60% and it's a lot more dry and tougher to comprehend than I thought it would be. I've been pulling allnighters and even willing to sacrifice social get togethers (and I love seeing my friends!) to study for this darn exam. I have 11 weeks to take and pass it, but the sooner I get it out of the way will result in the sooner I'll get my social life back.

Anyways, with long hours at work, and long hours of studying at home after work for work, and all of these sacrifices (which include camping this weekend, something I've been looking forward to since we all started planning the trip back in February) why would I want to stay here when I can easily get any other job?

I've been in the financial industry since I graduated high school in '06. And the customer service field since I could legally start working. I have gained a lot of hands on experience in my years of working, and this current position allows me to gain more knowledge and I can see a lot of growth potential at this company. At Wells Fargo and M&I I didn't feel that there. Both very very great companies, but I felt a roadblock. I got extremely good at what I was doing, but there wasn't much to learn after that so I left. I actually see a future here, so I'm willing to sacrifice time w/family and friends to learn something other companies aren't willing to teach me.

Allowing my parents to retire w/o the headache of "Will we have enough money to retire" on their minds, not having my brother work a day in his life (although I want him to gain experience from working this is better for him), Financial District in NYC, Australia, and allowing myself to grow as a person are all things that are motivating me to succeed in this position.

The man above gave me this opportunity to experience, learn, grow, and better myself. It'd be a shame if I didn't take it.

Just do me. Family and real friends understand why I can't spend time w/them. And the universe will allow all else to fall into place when the time is right.

I'm scared of what the future holds because everything that I've ever wished for has been given to me. I believe that if I want something and it's not given to me it's because I deserve better or it's not the right time. Things happen for a reason, everything that has happened to me in life has proven that to be true. And so I am here a believer.
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Tomorrow is never promised

I don't know about others, but time is something that is invaluable to me. I've keep my habit of sleeping as little as I can for a reason, and I believe that no one ever remembers the days they got plenty of sleep.

So I do whatever I can to not waste it. Some tips and pointers:

• Try to not dwell on the past, unless it is to learn from it. It already happened, no matter what you say or think won't change it. So just glance at it, know where you made the mistake, move on, and grow from it.
  
• "If you focus on what you've left behind, you'll never be able to see what lies ahead." -Unknown
  
• Don't count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.
• Time is NOT money. Time can get you more money, but money cannot get your more time.
• Trust that you are alive right now for a reason. Make that reason be seen if not by others at least by yourself.
• Dream -> Plan -> Act -> Track
  Dream out your goals, plan out how to make them happen, physically go out and achieve them in every way possible, and track your progress (and possibly react to that progress either make a plan b/c it's not working out the way you want it to or you're doing so well that you should speed up the process). That way you don't waste time and when you're old and wrinkly you won't say to yourself or worse to others "I wish..."
• Better late than never. You're going to never be too old to achieve something you've always wanted. NEVER!
• While it's good to plan for your future, remember that the only thing that's guaranteed to you is this moment. Life is unpredictable and there may be no tomorrow to do what you're holding off on today.
  
• It's good to believe in fate and destiny. But the both of them can only lead you so far before you have to take actions into your own hands.
  
• It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years. If you died tomorrow would you be satisfied with everything you got accomplished? If not, well...what are you waiting for?

I can go on and on about time and how I think you shouldn't waste it, but honestly you'd just be wasting your time reading this. GO DO SOMETHING! Only YOU know what's best for you. So make the time you have worth it.

What usually accompanies change for me is the lack of time. I've been wanting to write/blog about so much that has happened in the past two weeks, but I've had no time to record everything down. Instead I have been replacing writing/blogging w/telling my close friends how I've been feeling. Although it feels nice to talk to others, I still would love to have them recorded for memory purposes.

I haven't really had time to do much but eat, think, drink, and breathe finance. I have never doubted my potential with anything that I have set my mind to do in the past and lately I've found myself to do the opposite. But being the blessed person that I am I have very supportive and encouraging family and friends who are helping me see the light in continuing what I decided to do.

I can't control what my feelings are and how I think, but I can control the amount of power it has over me. Although I've let it distract me from my goal the past few days, I've refocused my desires to accomplishing this goal.

After all, things happen for a reason. This opportunity was presented to me time and time again for a reason. And when the time is right the man above will let me feel what I thought I felt again.

Gold medals aren't made of gold. They're made of unmitigated desire, determination, and will to win. #expectnothinglessofyourself

I'm in it to win it, because if you're not #1 you're nothing.