Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Disappearing Act

Drinking, Dancing, and Dying
The girls and I had our very first “Bad Girl Thursday” this past Thursday and I have never felt so embarrassed or stupid in my entire life. I was stupid enough to drink without eating much the whole day, when I should’ve known better and that almost got me into so much trouble. I am so lucky to have such a great best friend (you know who you are baby girl) and a good guy friend to watch over me, because who knows where the hell I would be right now if it wasn’t for them two. I woke up on the ground of my best friend’s apartment and the last thing I could remember was drinking at a different club/bar that I originally went to. As my friends were telling me the things I was doing via text and in person, the more and more I resented drinking or even going out that night. I acted like a fool, and I’m paying for it now. It is what it is, and I can only learn from it. No more scary drunken dying nights for me. I officially retire.

The Chicago Situation
A lot of my friends have asked me what happened, and even he has asked me what happened. I’m not ignoring him; I’m just cutting him out of my life for now until we can be strictly just friends again. There was a chance in there somewhere and I took it. But while I was taking the chance, I just realized that things weren’t going to ever be between the two of us. So before I got the both of us more into the situation, I just made it easier. Or at least I think I’m making it easier for the both of us.

You’re probably going to be reading this sooner or later, and I’m sorry. You already know I’m not good with confrontation so I’m sorry for blowing you off completely. When I visit Chicago, you know you’ll be one of the first people I’m going to call to take me out to eat. Saganaki, Banana Foster’s, Portillos, Steak and Shake…haha

I find it funny that when a friend I haven’t talked to in awhile texts or contact me via Facebook or Twitter, they first ask if I’m still in the cities, and if I am to go eat. I also find it funny that my few of my close friends have told me to not disappear on them and that if I do I had to let them know ahead of time.

I’ve wanted to hibernate ever since school started for many of my friends, but I have been doing the complete opposite of that. Instead of hiding in the Outback, I have been partying and drinking 4 out of the 7 days in a week. I’m not much of a complainer (or at least I don’t think I am) instead, I like to take control of the situation and change it so I won’t complain. So instead of complaining about how I drink too much, and spend too much money, and etc doing things I don’t need to be, I’m going to just do my own thing. I’ve been partying ever since I was 13, 14, I think it’s time to retire.

I couldn’t sleep last night cause I had a thousand different things running through my mind at 100mph, but now that I’m trying to recollect everything I can’t seem to think of any of it.
I am very blessed to be alive right now, so I think I should take the time I have to do something good with it. I need to start somewhere though. We all do. I don’t know where that somewhere is, but let’s not make the same mistakes I have been making in the past.

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