Happy Birthday to You

I know I'm only a year older than my siblings but dang, they're freakin' finally legal. It's scary how time passes by so quick. Especially lately, seemed like just yesterday we were babies living in the old house in Eagan...Crazy stuff. Now they can get into the casinos and clubs legally. And I know this is kind of wrong for me to say but now my brother is legal and he can be charged as an adult. I've always been scared of him turning eighteen because he's always been the trouble maker of the three of us. I just hope he doesn't do anything that'll put him somewhere he doesn't want to be and make my parents sad.

I miss them. Too bad I can't be home to celebrate with them. Thanksgiving is coming up soon. I can't wait...I miss home.

Well happy Birthday tiff and duy. I miss and love you two lots even though a lot of times I'm an evil older sister bitch to you guys.

I called them earlier to wish them a happy birthday and the only words that got out of my mouth was "Happy Birthday" before I started to tear up. Wow I think this is the first time I've actually got homesick. I'm suppose to call my parents today too. It's a routine calling my parents every sunday but I don't think I could talk to any of them without bawling my eyes. So I left it at "happy Birthday."

Sorry I couldn't say more. I just couldn't cry in front of everyone in the living room.

I've been addicted to Grey's Anatomy lately. Skipped season 1 watched all of season 3 and half way through season 2. I hate Meredith even though she's the main person and the narrator. I hate her. Stupid cunt lay off the married man already! Seems like everyone is a homewrecker these days.

Anyways, I got a text message from my dad the other day. From MY DAD, can you believe that? It was like just the other day I was showing him how to listen to his voicemails now he can text. haha. Its so cute. I saved the text even though it wasn't anything big. but I saved it, because its cute. I miss my family. I can't wait til Thanksgiving. I wanna see my family. I miss my mom's cooking. Everyone's told me its a shame that I didn't get to learn how to cook from her before I left because EVERYONE raves about her cooking.

Late Night Vents

People come and go, friends become strangers and strangers become friends. The funny thing about that is we usually don't remember what they said or what they did, but we'll remember the way they made us feel.

It's hard not to take what we have for granted because we often don't realize enough what it is that we have until it's gone, by then its usually too late. The thing about that is sometimes we need to get rid of the things that are holding us back to find what it is that we really need. I got rid of what was holding me back and to my suprise I'm starting to find what I need more and more everyday.

It's the past that makes us stronger in the present and better for our future.

I've always been really big on being independent and depending on no one but myself. I'm slowly getting there. Reminding myself everyday baby steps will take me there. I'm a small girl slowly becoming a woman who has some big dreams. I would rather shoot for the moon and miss than aim for the gutters and make it.

Everyday we come across hundreds of people and with those people I come across I debate whether I want to judge the one next to me because what if someday I'll need this person, because thats how it starts. Strangers become friends, you would have never thought you would need the person you call your best friend and now what would you do without them? All of them. To me, things happen for a reason, because it's funny how the right people come into our lives at the right time. Whether its to satisfy our lonliness, become a friend, be a burden or a blessing, whatever the reason is, the important thing is there is a reason. I thank god everyday I have you in my life.

Loyalty comes first in my book, when things go down that involves the people that are in my life, I am this ride or die chick. I'll loan you some money when you need it most, I'll kick someone's ass, I'll give you a shoulder to cry on, whatever it is you need, I'll try my best and do it. You wouldn't even have to question it.

It's either you take it all or take nothing. Give me your all or give me nothing.

A quickie before i leave for the next couple days.

I had a friend of mine read my palms not too long ago. And to sum it up, in my life I'll always be successful at whatever it is that I do, and that I will have no problems whatso ever with money but when it comes to love, its the total opposite. It will be hard for me to find love and obtain it. So far in my life it has proven to be true. Its either I don't feel what they feel, or they don't feel what I feel.

But whatev's, I'm only going to use what he said as a guide towards my life.
My new motto is "Life's too short to sleep."

And that, I have not been doing much of as of late. I've probably have only gotten a total of 24hrs of sleep the past two weeks. I'm young, you're young, life is young, why not make the most of it?

It's Official

By the end of July. See ya when I see ya. I don't think I need to make any attempts to see anyone before. I mean if I had to make an attempt than I guess you're just not worth seeing.

Lots of love for THE FAM! (I know we haven't called each other that since like '01 or '02 but damn. Ya'll are family)

Someplace New

In about a week I will be heading down to STL and I have no idea what to expect. No one ever really talks about STL, no movie is ever based in that city. The thing i've ever heard about it was in Nelly's rap songs. lol. But it'll be fun cause i'm Celebratttingg my birthdaaaayyy down thereeee. two weeks later but its stilll goood cause my birthday is every effin' day!

Human

There are no shortcuts, in life or in love, pain must be felt, thats what makes it special, thats what makes it beautiful, thats what makes it worthy. That pain of love is always accompanied by something else, hope. With your pain there is hope. And that is where I am, somewhere between agony, optimism and prayer. And that is what we are, we're human, thats what makes us alive.

You & I, astrogically

When Taurus and Gemini come together in a love affair, they must both take the time to learn what the dynamics of the relationship are and how they can best get along. They both have much to offer one another and much to learn in this relationship, but it will take a bit of adjustment and effort on both sides. Gemini's Symbol is the Twins; this Sign can often be of two minds about things. If possessive Taurus is able to let go and give one Twin the relationship security and intimacy it wants while allowing the other Twin its freedom, things will go well between these two. Taurus may want too much for Gemini's taste early in the relationship, but Gemini can become dependable and steady -- Taurus must simply be patient.

Taurus's sedate, practical approach to life differs greatly from Gemini's more light, intellectual approach. This can be a difficult dynamic, since Gemini may see Taurus as a bit dull while Taurus may see Gemini as flighty and lacking in substance. They have much to teach one another, however: Taurus can help Gemini become more deeply involved in life; Gemini can help Taurus add variety, fun and excitement to their life.

Taurus is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love) and Gemini is ruled by the Planet Mercury (Communication). Since both of these Planets are close to the Sun, they're always in the same neighborhood even though they're very different. Venus is all about physical pleasures, romance and sensuality. Mercury has both masculine and feminine energy, and Gemini takes on whichever energy best serves at any given moment. Taurus is just looking for a dependable, sensual partner, so Gemini's brilliance may be lost on the Bull. This may be trouble, since Geminis often feel like their quick wits are the most important thing about themselves. The good thing is, Gemini is smart enough to learn to be the romantic, sensual partner that Taurus craves.

There is a man out there who will be happy I didn't stay with him because If I had, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to make me happy.

Don't Waste the Pretty

It's hard. We're taught that in life, we should try and look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's intoxicatingly liberating. But we also know its not an easy concept. Beacause this is what we do: We go out with someone, we get excited about them, and they do something that mildly disappoint us. Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly months, because the last thing we want to think is that this great man that we are so excited about is in the process of turning into a creep. We try to come up with some explanation for why they're behaving that way, any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, than the one explanation that's the truth: He's just not that into me.

All these years I've been complaining about men and their mixed messages; now I saw they weren't mixed messages at all. I was the one that was mixed up. Because the fact was, these men had simply not been into me.

I'm about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: the word "busy" is a load of crap and is the most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Descruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.

Blogging.

This is probably my billionth blog. I've made about a bajillion xangas and livejournals and now I'm moving to this...lets see how long I keep blogging on here. So far I've stuck with xanga and only kept my livejournal to read ohnotheydidnt.

Stay tuned for more. (:

SATC

In a love relationship, there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact it is a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having. To some, hate implies growth, but how do we know when the growing pain stop and the pain pains take over? Are we optimists or masochists if we continue to walk that fine line when it comes to relationship? How do you know when enough is enough?

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. -Carrie Bradshaw