Tomorrow

 Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.  

I have never failed an interview before, and I'm not about to start tomorrow. It's been about two years since I've been in the hot seat. 

D is so sweet. He's sitting here pretending to be the interviewer, and giving me tips on how to handle questions since he interviews people all the time. 

Apart of us wants this, but apart of us knows we can hold out for something I deserve (salary wise).

It's in my nature to worry.

Weight Issues

About a year ago I weighed in at 120lbs. From Aug '12-Monday I was yo-yoing between 105-103. Monday, I was down to the double digits.

I hate the scale because I know the information it gives me is just a number, but I still weigh myself every time I'm at the gym.

I'm trying to gain muscle mass now, but D gets upset every time I work out.

I just want to be fit & healthy. Not skinny. Not thick. Strong, fit, fast, & cut. Lololololololol

D's 29th

I've been having trouble sleeping lately, but what's new? It's always been that way except for the past two years working 60+hrs at the office. Tonight is different though. He has been asleep for the past two hours, and we've been in bed for the past three...

What's on my mind tonight? Tomorrow. Again, what's new right? Tomorrow is special though, it's his 29th Birthday, and I keep trying to think of different ways I can make him feel like it's really his day.

Everyone knows I like to over share things, so expect to see it on your Instagram feed.

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Theme

I've noticed a theme in several of my most recent posts: the fear of losing those I cherish most in life.

Today, I did something to hurt one of those people, But what's new? I always do shit that hurts people in my life. Whether it's lashing out at Danny to giving attitudes to my family, or standing my friends up for a planned breakfast date, or blurbbing something out to everyone.

Sometimes, realizing my faults after the crime has been committed is enough. Others may be forgiving in the past, but that won't always be the case.

I think that's my problem, I'm holding on too tight. Love is like sand in your hands. If you hold onto it too loose, it will slip through your fingers. If you hold on too tight, it'll slip through your fingers.

The ones who've hurt me the most in life were always people I considered close friends. That still hasn't stopped me from loving three girlfriends to death.

Remember when I was cold and heartless? Yeah, me too.

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Things that make me happy 100-109

100) visiting a new place, where no one knows my name (even if it is Spencer, IA)
101) Tagging along with the man on his business trips
103) new gym gear
104) seeing my body change (I now have a four pack!)
105) days where a jacket isn't necessary. I'm tired of the cold, gloomy, cold, snowy days.
106) getting goodies from the sister. Every time I see her, she's given me bags full of make up, workout clothes, house necessities, clutches, etc.
107) being able to take a load off the man's plate. Now that I'm not working 60+ hours, I've been able to clean our home, help with renos, and have dinner ready by the time he gets home.
108) cooking things the man enjoys eating
109) knowing the man enjoys Vietnamese, and more importantly my mom's cooking

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZQ5aNrwYcM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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I was told once that everyone you'll ever need in life, you'll be able to count on ten fingers.

The older I get, the more this proves to be true. Many left behind lessons to nurture relationships with those around me (thank you).

"if you want to fly, you've got to let go of what weighs you down."

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