There's no place like home

Minneapolis, MN St. Louis, MO

Before moving out of Minnesota, I thought it was a horrible state. Having moved there unwillingly at 3 months old from the sunny state of California, Minnesota was all that I knew. I wasn't born there, but I was raised there all of my life. Family from both sides: mom and dad are all there, friends whom I grew up with since we were in diapers are there, I pretty much know Minneapolis, St. Paul, and their suburbs inside and out. If you had all of that what on earth would make you move out of the state right? I only have two answers for you: curiosity and the strive to be independent.

Like many young adults who grew up in one state all of their lives, Minnesota was all I knew. I wanted to see what was out there besides the Mini Apple (gotten it's nickname b/c of the Twin Cities: Minneapolis & St. Paul, it's a "mini New York City"). I didn't want to move somewhere where I didn't know anyone, so I chose St. Louis. Why St. Louis you ask? Well, after a year of being here I honestly don't know why I chose this city, but I bet if you asked me about a year ago I would've known the answer. I only knew one person here and it was my uncle Jimmy, everyone else I've met along way I've had to use to my charms, and personality to win them over (okay ha ha right?).

Independence, oh where do I start? Eversince I've learned how to make money on my own I've been striving to be independent. I guess it's just apart of how I was raised and is in my personality. I hate hate hate depending on others for things. Whether it be financially, mentally, emotionally, or just me needing a ride from someone to get somewhere, I hate asking people for things, or leaning on someone for something. I guess I think it makes you more vulnerable and fragile so I don't want to put myself in that position. But boy did moving out of my parents' house let alone the same state they were in make me more independent as a person (which I won't list out), even my parents have seen the difference, and it makes me really happy to see them proud of me.

I won't go into anymore details of what made me move out of the place where my everything was but the pro's and con's. I guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone!

What I missed about Minnesota:

• the 10,000+ lakes; I really really do miss running around lake calhoun, jetskiing, boating, fishing, bbq'ing, pontooning, swimming, or just plain old driving by the lakes in the spring/summer
• the cleanliness; I know this probably sounds really stupid, but after living in STL boy have I missed the cleanliness of MN..from parks to parking lots or the malls MN is just cleaner
• the nightlife; the nightlife in MN really was just that much better than STL's...no offense but the clubs down here are whack unless I take 6 shots of unknown drinks and 5 patron shots like the previous weekend then maybe I'll dance my ass off and have fun.
• Sushi Tango; I love their yummy green muscles (I actually missed this so much that I found a similar recipe online which I will be trying out asap) and oysters...everytime I visit I've had to make a stop.
• living in the suburbs; I miss the private hill that my parents' house is on. I miss not having to know how to parallel park a car
• Mystic Lake; not the gambling or the hundreds of asians that go there everyday, but the weekly all you can eat seafood buffet, mMmMMm prime rib, oysters, and crab legs here I come!
• MOA; I love how all of my favorite stores are all under one roof! one stop shop
• no sales tax; sure it may only be a couple of dollars, but a couple of dollars here and there really do add up! i bought a pair of booties the other day and the sales tax was nearly $7.00!!! that's lunch.
• Cub Foods; their prices are REALLY "everyday low prices" . Schnucks prices just can't compare.
• MN state fair; corn on the cob covered in butter and salt, cheese curds, funnel cakes, tons of deep fried food on a stick, fair like type rides, concerts..whats not to love? I haven't been to the Great Minnesota Get together in two years now and everytime Labor day weekend rolls around I'm tempted to buy a plane ticket up there for a day just so I can goto the fair.

What I will miss about St. Louis, MO:

• Steak 'N Shake; their Frisco melt is the reason why I gained 10lbs
• working Downtown; I love working in the business-ish atmosphere, plus the hours of operartions downtown seems to run on (no work on weekends!!!)
• the closeness of everything; everything is so close together that driving 20minutes out to my uncle's restaurant for lunch/dinner seems like a road trip. saves on gas!
• the fujiyama roll from Nippon Tei; that roll is my favorite all time sushi roll. i don't know whats in it but I know the roll is breaded and deep fried...YUM. Plus this restaurant seems to be the only good sushi restaurant in STL
• pride in the STL Cardinals; I love how they have so much pride in their team whether they're winning or losing. oh and how much they hate the Chicago Cubs.
• Harry's Cheesecakes; best strawberry cheesecakes in the WORLD. i bought one for chairty in our buildings cake walk thing and I killed the cake.

What I didn't miss about MN:

• money is everything to everyone here; it seems like 90% of the asian community just wanna get rich and everything is about money. how annoying.
• the super cold freezing temps plus the snow; there was a point in life where i loved the snow, but that was when I could jump in the snow, build snow forts on the deck of my house and have a big snowball fight with all of the kids on our block but since those days are over, i hate it.

What I won't miss about MO:

• the drivers; 90% of these people need to go back and retake their road test. you don't know how many i just wanna get out of the car w/a bat and smash these people's windshields.
• hwy 64/40 construction; it was one of the most used highways in the STL metro and they close half of it down for construction for a year and then after that they'll be closing the other half down..bringing the traffic to all the little inside roads.

come back later for the entire entry. it's getting late and I'm getting tired. ::yawns::

Cancun, Mexico

View's off the balcony of my room:


The lagoon area


The first pool plus swim up bar and some of the restaurants and stuff


The first/main beach

If you guys haven't gone yet, go! It's such an experience. This was only my second time out of the U.S., my first time was to Vietnam almost five years ago. And I'm still trying to save up to go back there again.

I want need a polaroid camera!



But they no longer make em. and There's none @ wal-mart/target. My only hope is ebay and i hate buying used shit. argh.

Greed

I just got done reading Eclipse the third book of the Twilight saga. I must say towards the end I got so angry and me being the opinionated person that I am, I just had the urge to read as fast as I can, finish the book and then write about it. It must've been the writer instinct inside of me.

The last few chapters of the novel made me so indignant that I had to pause set the book down and tell myself to breathe, I had to keep telling myself that it was just a book. I don't what has gotten into me, feeling like these made up, fictional characters had any say in my emotions. Again, Stephenie Meyer is a genius. I'm hooked, the Twilight saga is my drug now.

I don't know how anyone (actually I do because I see it all the time) could be so avaricious, and I don't know how Edward could put up with that. I believe that everyone is selfish no matter how hard they try but you should know to only be avaricious to a certain point...But you don't know how happy I was to read:

He's like a drug for you, Bella." his voice was still gentle, not at all critical. "I can see that you can't live without him now, It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."
The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistfull half-smile. "I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My person sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me."
He sighed. "The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse."

Yes, the one I wanted her to be with, for her to see the whole that he was right for is, and will always be. Selfish people really irritate me, well people that are more selfish than they need to be.

***

I don't see how anyone could cheat emotionally and physically. How hard is it to think of the other person and tell them you don't think things will work out and then go do whatever it is that you needed with the other person. I also don't understand how another person could put themselves in a position where they were to pick between two people. You know when someone likes you, and normally if I knew someone was interested and I was already with someone else, I'd push them away. I guess some people aren't smart...er I mean selfless enough to do that. I could never put myself in a position to fall for someone other than the person that I am already with. It's all made with the decisions you make and the choices you have made that winds up like that. Just don't make those choices and decisions and you won't put yourself in the place. It's funny because people who do put themselves in that position actually feel bad for themselves like they don't know what to do and that it's a horrbile thing...yes it's a horrbile thing but bitch please, you put yourself there so don't start crying now hoe.

Hooked

Most of my time has been consumed lately.

It's either I'm in the kitchen trying out new recipes for dinner, or else my face is sinked into Twilight. A very very addictive book. I haven't touched a book to read for leisure since last summer and I'm glad I picked up on this one. I can't wait for the movie to come out. I saw the trailer, I wish Edward Cullen was more like a James Franco, but hey not everyone can be that beautiful. haha. It's just how Stephenie Meyer have been describing him, it got me intrigued but he's not beautiful at all in the movie!

It's been a bad day for me to bring this book in to work to read on my down time, because 1)It's the 15th of the month, meaning everyone gets paid and 2) it's a friday, everyone's trying to get their deposit in or they're trying to cash their checks. And I keep getting interrupted and when I do I get really annoyed. I just gave this man a snickered looked when he walked in and came to my counter, I couldn't help it, the book is that interesting and has me glued to it.

If I finish this on the weekend, I'm making a stop at Borders to get the sequal, I don't care if everyone has said it wasn't worth the money.

Rain on my skin
I feel a gentle summer wind
In your eyes
I can see the deep blue sky
Let it rain
Let it colour all my skin
Let it rain
Wash away my doubts and pain

I wanna discover
I don't wanna make believe
Let it rain
Down on me
Let it rain down
Let it rain..
Let it rain..

Just Venting

The first thing I've noticed moving to St. Louis:

1)How bad the drivers are down here. Seriously! It's like 85% of the people down here driving cars don't know how to drive and it irritates me. Yeah, you could say I have road rage but its like everyone down here doesn't know how to signal, doesn't know how to look before switching lanes or they just go too slow or too fast for the speed limit. Sometimes when I'm stopped at a red light with a driver that's been pissing me off I just wanna get out of the car take my bat that i have in the passenger side and smash their windows. sdklfd!!!

&

2)Mi Dengs are so gosh darn lazy. So we have this new girl here, and we're all training her right? She complains when our supervisor won't let her help customers because "How am I ever gonna learn if I don't get to do anything but read manuals and handbooks?" and starting this week our supervisor finally let her open and start helping customers but she doesn't wanna do it! Okay, so which one is it buddy? All she does is sits on the computer reading whatever she's reading online. argh.



***


It's funny how everytime I move I always tell my friends that I'd keep in touch but I never do. I guess you can say I've been busy doing all sorts of things down here but never busy enough to not call or occasionally text. I mean I do keep in touch but its with a selected few, and its funny because with those few that I do keep in touch I never see them when I visit. But that's fine with me and I suppose its fine with them. The ones I don't keep in touch with are the ones that when I do visit and see it's like we start right where we left off and I love it. You know who you are. Because when I'm up visiting my time goes to you all. (;



***


Debating if I should goto the Galleria after work today or not. I've been wanting to get some baking dishes, a wok, and a cast iron pot to try out these new recipes I can't wait to try out.

Eversince I moved I've been cooking way more and it's kind of a hassle because I have work everyday and when I get home I just wanna relax but then there's chores to do and then dinner to make and man!! LOL I guess welcome to the real world huh? But most of the time I don't mind it.

The other night I made some delicious oven baked ribs. It was soooo delicious. and tonight I think I'm going try out this parmesean crusted chicken w/some green beans, corn and some pasta. I made it a couple of weeks ago, and it was good but this time I'm going to perk it up a little.

16...

days until Marian days in Carthage, MO

...that is if I decide to go. Reasons why I would go: family, friends. Reasons why I wouldn't want to go: hot ass weather, possible rain + camping out in tents=gross nasty dirt everywhere=not good=me being moody and angry, did i mention the hot ass weather?

I've gone every year eversince second grade and don't get me wrong I love love going, but the weather really gets to me. I love the sunny hot weather that comes along with summer but sometimes I just can't take it. Its so humid. but then I feel like I should go not just because my family and friends (which not all are going this year) but because I feel like maybe I need sometime to myself. Away from this city, away from work, away from everyone..

Who knows, it'll probably end up to be a last minute decision.

<3

Sometimes we all wonder things. Whether its in class during a really boring video or sometimes it might just be in the car driving somewhere.

You know what I sometimes wonder? We all put smiles on our faces like everythings fine, everythings perfect. But there will only be one or two people in our lives who'll see through those smiles and see the truth behind it. Even the ones you thought knew you well may not even know the difference between your real smiles and the fake you put on everyday.

Will we ever become those people we dreamed of when we were younger? Yeah those dreams we've had when we were younger may have changed, but our dreams are still chaste. We still don't see the reality in things yet.

We're all just crazy make-believe characters in this story we call life.

*

Question: After being disappointed many times. When do you know its time to stop hoping?
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Answer: You don't know. You just never stop hoping. The crazy-funny-happy feeling you get when you do hope and you do get more than expected is worth it, rather than hoping and being disappointed or worse not hoping at all. Plus its impossible to completely stop hoping anyway.

False hope is better than no hope.