It's time to make a wish
And I'm wishin' for you
I hope it comes true
I’m sure by now every one of you have heard of him: Justin Bieber. He’s the now 17 year old pop star who was found off of YouTube. Those of you who know me know that I love Justin Bieber. Not because he’s this adorable teenager, but because of who he is. And who is he you might ask? Well, he’s more than a kid that used to have a “lesbian haircut” or a kid with women of all ages dying to meet him that’s for sure.
Before I attended his concert at the Target Center last June, I only knew him as this not even legal boy who was found off YouTube that had catchy songs w/good lyrics playing on the radio with lots of little girl fans. But all of that was enough to get me on the Bieber Bandwagon. For my birthday last spring, I had the choice between Lady Gaga concert tickets or Justin Bieber concert tickets so I chose the latter. Yeah,I know, when people hear I chose Bieber over Gaga they give me this “are you crazy” look, but I couldn’t have made a better choice.
I went into the concert expecting a few things:
1. the Target Center would be packed w/screaming under aged girls accompanied by their mom’s and dad’s
2. I just wanted to hear him perform Baby and Up and I would leave the concert a happy girl
I don’t expect much out of concerts I go to because usually the artists stink live. I would rather hear most of their songs blaring through my BlackBerry speakers than attend a free show only for me to lose respect for them. But the concert gave me way more than what I was expecting. I was mind blown by this sixteen year old kid who has more swag than any man I know. Justin Bieber is talented, and his concert was by far one of the best concerts I have ever attended. This kid was singing, dancing, playing the piano, playing the guitar, playing the drums, and on top of that making girls all over Minneapolis swoon for him. Sean Kingston, Jessica Jarrell, The Stunnerz, and Iyaz were also there to perform with him and even if they weren’t there the concert would’ve still been good.
What is the whole point of this post? When an artist is as talented as Justin Bieber, they deserve recognition and respect, even if the kind of music they make isn’t one you’d typically listen to. You have to respect the fact that they aren’t using auto tune. That they can keep a crowd excited. That they can dance, sing, and play instruments all at the same time. And to do all of that at such a young age is pretty amazing. I’m just tired of disrespectful people (mainly guys) who don’t really listen (you may hear it, but do you actually listen?) to his music. The haters usually see Justin Bieber as this little kid who makes corny music and that’s that. They don’t know the depth of his talents.
So to all of you who think Justin Bieber is this joke artist, I suggest you click play to any of the songs I have posted underneath this post and really listen to the lyrics. If the lyrics and the tune to his songs don’t win you over, go see his movie Never Say Never. I guarantee you that the movie/documentary will have you respecting him. And if the movie isn’t enough, go buy a ticket to his concert. You can see for yourself, with your very own eyes that he’s a talented guy that has a lot to offer in the music and entertainment industry. I’m not asking you to hop onto the bandwagon or all of a sudden have Bieber Fever, I’m just asking you to stop dissing an artist who deserves respect. He’s a lot more talented than most of the mainstream artists I hear on the radio.
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Mummy: What kind of cigarettes do you smoke?
Ba: What is that?
Dave: Marlborro is too expensive so I buy L&M.
Mummy: how much is it?
Dave: L&M is 4 something, and Marlborro is 5 something.
Ba: You know what kind of cigarettes are cheap?
Dave: *eye glare* (cause we all knew what my dad would say)
Ba: the I don't smoke any cigarettes brand.
(This was all in Viet so it was funnier.)
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Me: So do you still work out?
Ginnifer (nickname b/c the person wants it like that): *flexes his biceps* does it look like I have?
(One of those you had to be there things. We laughed for a good 5min. Probably got some abs too)
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They're all recorded here for memory purposes. Just like this blog. Not to please you readers. So if you don't get some of it, good.
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I'm thinking about everything possible. How I don't give a fuck about much in life. How I'm so happy and content in life right now that my only motivation is to give whatever it is that my parents desire to them. How everything happened exactly how it was supposed to, to teach me all of this in life. How stuff that would have got me excited a year ago no longer excites me. How I would rather spend my weekends going out to dinner w/my family, talking, laughing, reminiscing our past, and planning our future together than drinking w/my friends. How I crave reading a new book versus going downtown. How I would be out of Minnesota in a second if my family was able to go with me. How I've been friends w/these people for so long and after all we've been through we're still friends. How wonderful and fun all of their weddings will be. How I can't wait to go back to school. How I can't wait to go back to dressing up in business clothes for work. How I'll save a ton on gas once the light rail is finished. How I want to sell my car and move to Australia w/the money. How the cops are basically waiting for me to fuck up. How my parents still have it in their hearts to love me after all I've done. How easy it is to be happy, but so many people aren't. How and why do people value money and material things so much? How much I want to go camping this summer just like old times w/my bestest and longest known friends. How I would like to spend my summer fishing. How I'm going to spend my birthday: first time in four years in Minnesota or another out of state celebration? How I only spend it out of state b/c I don't like "celebrating" it. How my parents have gone from yelling and fighting each other to loving each other. How my parents worked so hard to give us everything. How on Earth did my brother get to be the way he is now (was it how my parents raised him? Genetics? What?!) How I've accepted the fact that I'll never get married, and how incredibly content I am w/that fact. How I really wish I knew how to play the piano. How RIM isn't doing anything new w/BlackBerry's. How incredibly blessed I am. How my guardian angel is holdin' up in heaven. How I wish I got to thank her for teaching me so much when I was a little girl. How I am sorry for the way my brother acted towards her and I just watched. How I wish my parents would downsize this house already. How selfish we all are. How my friend is going to spend her 21st birthday next month. How I basically didn't break lent except for one day. How much I just want to do the time now to get it over with. How awesome Lollapalooza will be. How if I was still in Cali right now I'd have my own fixie and ride it everywhere instead of driving Weezy. How much I want to go running right now. How my dad and mom are going to be a year closer to leaving me in the next two months. How I wasn't strong enough to be there for my brother when he needed me most. How I blew off his daily calls and voice mails. How I turned down all of those job offers. How my sister says I should give them a try. How determined and self motivated my brother is. How incredibly smart they both are. How I'm so happy for her to be w/the love of her life at such a young age. How I see him as if he were my own brother. How I can be so wreckless. How much I miss people watching in NYC. How if I'm going to wait to go to Serendipity w/"the one" that I'll never get to go. How kind of silly that movie really is. How that Russian kid who split his head open on the playground is doing now. How I'm still super short even though I drank tons of milk when I was a little girl. How I almost dropped Kevin while holding him when he was just a few months old. How Kevin, Vincent, Haley...all of my cousins, nephews, and nieces (viet way) won't remember me b/c I was never around and still not. How much I wanna go diving w/the sharks in Australia. How and why I love Australia so much. How I wanna see the Black Hills this summer. How we should've went to see the Black Hills for the goons' SB. How my sister never got to travel like I did when I was her age. How she deserves to travel. How I wish I could be in Japan helping the tsunami victims. How I want to teach English in Vietnam. How I just want to make an impact on people's lives. How I want to join the peace corp forever. How if it wasn't for giving everything to my parents I wouldn't care about how much I make. How I would help people for free as long as housing and food is paid for. How I want to trade the X5 for a fixie. How I wish everything was closer so I could just get around in a fixie. How I smashed my head into one of the many garages riding a bike. How I came home from school one day and found out my guardian angel was in the hospital. How I came home from school one day and found out my dad was gone. How I came home one day and found out my brother split his head open. How we got so much Halloween candy trick or treating in our old old neighborhood in Eden Prairie. How different Eastview was from Richfield High School. How I wish I wasn't such a rebel when we were in Vietnam. How it was so much fun riding on a motorcycle while my cousin was going 100+ mph. How I used to want a crotch rocket. How my dad would drive passed cars when I was little girl and I'd point at each one saying I want that when I get my license. How much I love my parents. How much I love my family. How I used to hate them so much. How I got my first flowers from a couple of friends when I turned 14. How incredibly fun prom was. How I miss the STP boys. How it was really good and nice unexpectedly running into them last week. How I'm going to rearrange my room for the first time since we moved into this house. How I graduated high school with a bunch of strangers. How I'll probably never go to my high school reunions. How I wished I would've graduated from Richfield instead of Eastview. How I should've listened to my ortho and wore my retainer 24/7. How I want my teeth whiter. How I want to do a road trip. How I've gotten over my large ears. I wonder if my brother really did quit smoking. How if the things he tell me are because of his condition or are they real. How we haven't seen him for a good week. How wrinkly and super old looking my hands are and if palm readings are real. How short should I cut my hair or leave it long. How people will read this and think I'm crazy. How I think it's cool to be crazy through someone's eyes. How so much can and has changed in just a year. How ridiculous life is. Ridiculously unpredictable. How I should force myself not to think about any of this anymore...
And finally if I should stay up the rest of the day or just sleep.
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I decided to not pay attention or look for them in any way just to see what'll happen. Maybe it'd go away or it'll present more signs. Well the past two days have been nonstop signs everywhere.
When I was reading The Alchemist, when Paulo Coehlo wrote about the universe:
"When you want something, all of the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
I sound loony again, but I months and months of "signs" I'm starting to TRULY believe the universe is trying to help me.
I'll probably blog about all of the significant signs later on just because two or so years down the road I'll wanna know what these signs are.
I'm not lucky, I am blessed.
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How I see it is how do you know if someone is trying to "imitate" you? I read this from a good girl friend's twitter once something along the lines of "things are mass produced for a reason so many people can purchase it"--who are we to point fingers and say this or that person is copying us? What if they saw it on a model posing in a magazine ad? Or they saw it online somewhere?
Besides, even if a person really was trying to imitate things about you, just take it as a form of flattery. You're being looked up to. You must be doing something right for someone to want to be you. Haha that kind of came out conceited as hell, but you all know what I mean. Just be flattered.
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On one of my older posts, I wrote about how I was a careless person, but I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was a person that didn’t take time to put in effort with my friendships because I do. I take all of my friendships seriously because I believe they are investments, lifelong investments. Whether or not they actually turn out that way is entirely up to both parties. Just like two people who truly deeply love each other, I believe that a friendship can last a lifetime as long as both people are committed enough and are willing to work through anything and everything that is thrown at them.
We all have encountered thousands, if not millions every day since the day we were born up until this very moment. Hundreds we have gotten to know past their names and there are only a select we’ve gotten to know past their barriers (and vice versa).
And then life happens. I can name off every single person I’ve gotten to know on a much deeper level than just partying, dancing, and drinking. I can also name off all of the things I loved about them, and why our friendship didn’t work. But they all end the same way: both people just stopped caring.
I used to be this person who likes to hold on to all of my friends because it’s so much easier to hold onto what we’re comfortable with then start over with someone new. This ‘friend’ of ours has already broken down pieces of our barrier and gotten to know us on a level that many don’t take the time to recognize. It’s amazing how I spent every day talking, eating, seeing, laughing with people, and now I rarely even notice them anymore. They have gone from people I knew the names of, people who consumed so much of my time, to people who don’t even cross my mind.
It’s inevitable though, people come and go. Whether their departing was because of a dispute, a break of trust, lack of communication, or death: life happens. Sometimes you grow tired of chasing people and trying to make things right. I don’t see it as giving up; I just see it as letting go because I’m tired of fighting for people who don’t fight for me. But I haven’t let the loss of people in my life deter me away from getting close to others.
“Nothing about me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.” –Chuck Palahniuk
Yes, it can be scary allowing someone new in to get to know you, but I believe that everyone has something to teach you. It’s also a big ass world out there and it’s easy to get lonely without a friend by your side. A friend who you can call at 3 in the morning because you’re scared or someone who’ll wipe away your first tears shed in years. This is all coming from someone who doesn’t like to ask for help or show a single sign of vulnerability: life will get lonely; we all need someone to laugh and smile with.
And with everyone I’ve come to know and have lost touch with, there is no denying that there are a handful of people who are there for me no matter who I’ve grown to be in the past 8+ years (I say 8+ b/c some I’ve known my whole life and others have joined our journey along the way) we’ve gotten to know each other. We weren’t always as close as we were when we all first started shenanigans together, but through experience they remind me of my family. Like my parents, no matter what kind of shit I get myself into, or mistakes I have made, they are there for me.
I’ve realized that you can’t force people to stay in your life. Staying is a choice, and even after all of the stupid shit I do or say, and getting to know how truly weird I am, I’m very grateful for the ones who do choose to stay. I feel like I should be naming off names, but they don’t need recognition, they already know who they are. I just wanted to let you guys know that when I’m thinking about who my very first friends were when I was a little girl; you guys are the ones that come to my mind.
So to the Anonymous person, you see it’s not that I treat all of my friends or relationships I have with them as something that’s replaceable. There just comes a certain point in the friendship where you know whether to keep hanging on or to let go. And once you realize it’s time to close the door, another one opens.
Between my siblings and I, I am known for being the careless one.
One time, my dad dropped my brother and I off at the mall to get new shoes for school. While trying on shoes at Footlocker, I left my Coach purse on the bench unattended and had $300 that my parents gave me to buy myself and my brother shoes stolen right out of my purse. Not the purse, just the cash.
I started wearing purses ever since I was a pre teen. And I never took care of any of them (even to this day, but I am proud to say I have grown out of my materialistic ways). I still have my old Coach, Dooney and Bourke, Prada, Gucci purses underneath my bed and they're all ruined with stains, torn fabric, busted up straps, broken zippers, etc to show for my negligent ways.
Before I even passed my license test, for two weeks my dad drove me around different dealerships so I could choose a car of my own. A month before my road test, I settled on a (lame and never should've picked, but still grateful) brand new '06 Scion tC. It only took me a day after passing my driver's test (first try baby!) to already put a scratch on my rims, and backed up into another car. Which unexpectedly didn't put a scratch on the other person's car, but did put a huge dent on mine. And now with my most recent car, the X5...let's not list everything but just say everything is wrong and I have no one to blame but myself.
Laptops, purses, cars, BlackBerries, clothes, cameras, shoes, you name it and I could tell you a thousand different "One time" stories even ones with my life at stake. But besides the last thing mentioned. They're all things that are replaceable.
I don't care for many things because of that known fact. They're all just material things that money will replace. Even friendships that have gone sour I don't tend to try and mend things because they're not worth mending. Again, replaceable. Brutal, but it's the truth.
As careless as I am, I know what things and relationships I should be protecting and nurturing.
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