Monday, August 19, 2013

It's not you, It's me

It's becoming more and more apparent as time goes on that its not my "friends," it's me. 

Over the past twenty five years the people who have hurt me the most weren't family nor were they past boyfriends, they were always people I've considered as friends. I naively went through life thinking to be considered a good friend you needed to always be honest, upfront, be able to make time for them, love them unconditionally, & from time to time put your own issues aside and cater to their's. but that's not enough, because if it were people who used to be by my side wouldn't be disappearing.

My goal this year was and still is to grow into a better person. I'm actively working on every relationship I have with the people who still stand beside me, and honestly I'm scared to death of losing them. 

My insecurities shine bright when it comes to my family, my handful of friends, and D.

Handful. It's scary to know with the billions of people you pass in your life, the ones who matter, you're able to count all on one hand. I already have my bridesmaids picked out, they're the ones who have never judged me for the decisions I've made in life (no matter how poor they were), they're the ones who have never left my side through the test of time, and through the test of my selfishness. 

I didn't believe them when they said your circle gets smaller as you get older, but time is proving them to be right.

Sent from my iPad