Paying Dues

My sister and her boyfriend + many of my close friends keep telling me that it won’t be bad, but I don’t want to expect nothing and then all of a sudden it’s a huge deal. So I’m going to expect the worst of the worst.

I have always had this cloud hanging over me because I was unsure of what the punishment for such a mistake would be. It’s funny how a few things change in your life like you actually accepting an opportunity and then seizing it to make you realize how important it is to finally clear that cloud hanging over you. Let me reword that, make you want to clear it.

I don’t think anyone knows how important this is to me, but of course they don’t because they’ve never been in my position before. But no matter how long the man above feels it’ll take for me to learn I will accept the time given, after all I did put myself in this position in the first place.

I mean I don't even have to do what I'm going to do, but I feel like if I continue to run from it that the cloud will only stop me from more opportunities that'll be given to me in the future. Better now than later.

Whatever the outcome may be, I’m going to be finally free of it and the only thing that’ll be hanging over me is happiness.