thoughts while reading

“She realized too late work was dignity.” --F. Scott Fitzgerald

A lot of people view working as a chore and it’s something that they dread. If there was something other than music, food, and writing, it’d be working.

Almost everyone who meets me, their initial first impression besides that I am young, is that I’m this spoiled, little princess who mommy and daddy supports and likes to protect. Little do they know that I’ve started working ever since I was 13 years old for my uncle’s baby’s mama’s insurance company one summer. Granted I wasn’t paid in cash, but she fed, clothes, and gave me shelter all summer long. She didn’t even ask me to work for her because she needed or wanted me to, I just did it because I wanted to. Ever since I turned legally able to work by law I started. I remember my very first interview with Best Buy, I was so freaking nervous you could hear my seven gold bracelets on my left hand jingle cause my hands were shaking so much. Needless to say I got the job. There hasn’t been an interview where I wasn’t offered the position and there hasn’t been a job where I haven’t learned to excel at. That’s probably why I switch jobs so often, I get bored. What’s left to learn, look forward to, or challenge yourself with after you’ve mastered it?

Not only do I love working, but I love the sense of accomplishment knowing that I am supporting myself. Everything that I own from my two cars, the clothes on my back, the food I eat, to the vacations I take have all been paid for myself. My parents haven’t bought me anything since I was sixteen, besides the rare occasions where my dad will fill up my gas tank. It’s just my character though, I hate asking anyone for things. Whining and bitching won’t get you anywhere so I use what I have to work with to get me the things I need and want in life. God didn’t give you two hands and two feet for nothing, use ‘em.

I mean, don’t you just hate it when someone asks you to do them a favor, you do it, and they bitch about how it wasn’t done right?—yeah me too. It’s like excuse me? Appreciate the fact that I took time to do you a favor, if you wanted things done right then do it yourself. I like to save myself the time from getting angry and disappointed and just do things myself. It’s easier for everyone that way. Plus the feeling of owing someone something never sits pretty with me, I absolutely hate that feeling more than anything else.

All this talk about work, it’s ironic that I haven’t been working for a couple of weeks now. Someone give me a challenge because using words to manipulate customers to open bank accounts and giving the best customer service in town was way too easy.

Side note: I’m going to try to not let the fact that I know a few people who read this blog affect what I write.

Oops I did it again
Many of my friends whether they have known me all of my life or only for a few months have all told me that I’m a heartbreaker. I know that’s not true because hearts cannot be broken, but there have been countless times where I had to cut all kinds of contact w/my male friends because they were starting to catch a crazy thing called feelings for me. I have a crazy inuition for two people who will start dating, when one is about to stray and I’m sure everyone can tell when a person starts to like you. I have a lot of guy friends because I feel comfortable, relaxed when I’m around them . They are straight forward, aren’t afraid to give you criticism, and aren’t afraid to take criticism. They keep the mood happy and light. It’s been like that all of my life. I think the past two years have been the only years where I’ve had a lot of girl friends. But I honestly get really uncomfortable when a guy I view strictly as friends start to see me as more than that. And when that happens I get in panic mode and just cut em off until they’re ready to be strictly just friends.

I’m writing this because I feel like I have to cut someone off soon. I apologize when I do, you’ll get confused at why I’m doing it. But please just know that I’m doing it out of my best interest for you, it’s better that things don’t get too sticky.

--sorry if things don't make sense, and or spelling is off. I wrote this all down on a notebook and had to type it on here because my laptop is pooped.