Thursday, September 2, 2010

It's a big big world, and I'm gonna show you all of it

Not a girl, but not yet a woman
I forgot how long it’s been since my grandparents have seen me. Right when I walked in the door earlier, both of them dropped their mouths and said “wow.” I’m not great at taking compliments so I just gave them a big smile, said my hi’s and ran up to my room. That’s when I realized that the last time they saw me before this visit, I never wore make-up and I never dressed like a girl. They were both always here when the kids were growing up but moved a few months before I graduated from high school to California and I haven’t seen them since. It’s funny remembering the days when I asked my younger sister how to apply eye liner, mascara, and etc. I even had to steal one of her dresses to wear for my high school graduation ceremony cause I didn’t have one in my own closet, and look at me now: my closet is full of ‘em and I can’t even go out at night without slipping one on. And four years after applying my first eyeliner and mascara, I have graduated to wearing blush and false eyelashes. I’m growing up, no more tomboy Tammy…ha yeah right.

Old Soul
Even though I’m glad a lot of my friends from all over the states will be coming to Minnesota this weekend for the fair, I’m dreading it in a way. When anyone comes to visit from out of state; lots of partying, drinking, and going downtown is involved and that’s what I’m trying to hibernate from. I think I’ve had enough of it to last me the rest of my life. --Ok, maybe not to that extent but for sure until Halloween in Madison. I just need a little break, time to rejuvenate my body, mind, and soul.

If my guys heard this all of them would be screaming “Tamzilla you’ve changed, you’ve changed” while each of them are holding a shot of Hennessy to my face. C’mon boys, we’ve been drinking since we were 13 or 14…time for a break.

Ready or not, here I come
Let’s face it, as much as I want to drop everything and move to my dream continent/country/state I’m far from being able to. Financially, it’s going to take a lot more than the little chump change I have saved up. Mentally, I’m going to need to take baby steps and move somewhere out of the Midwest (no more St. Louie) to see if I can stand being away from my family for more than a month without flying/driving back home. Physically, I’m going to need to get into shape. I hate looking at pictures and seeing chubby me.

Realistically, I’m probably even going to have even smaller baby steps and post pone NYC ‘til after I graduate from college. So where does that leave me with two of my dream places being on hold?

“Home is the place you grow up wanting to leave, and the place you grow old wanting to go back to.

I feel like the quote is so true. As soon as I had hit the age of 13, I already wanted to move out of my parents’ house. When I was nineteen I finally got the chance, and that only left me being homesick. I think I’m going to give everything six months. Six months to work like crazy (especially since I’m not in school this semester) and save up as much as I can, while at the same time mentally and physically get myself together. It’ll also give me time to brainstorm which city/state would best suit me for right now, cause we all know after a few years I’ll be ready to move again. So, which city is ready for me?!

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