Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Growing up

It was so much easier to express our love and adoration towards our parents when we were young kids. My siblings and I would kiss my mom and dad on their cheeks before heading off to dreamland every single night. I wonder if my parents noticed the first night the kisses stopped coming.

I also remember sleeping over at my ong noi and ba noi (grandparents on dad's side) house one night. An hour after my parents left to go home, the separation anxiety kicked in and I bawled my little eyes out until my parents drove 45min back to pick me up.

I got used to being away from them after awhile. I started sleeping over at my grandparents' more often, but I always had to have my two stuffed bunnies. One was given to me from my dad and I named her Robbie. The second was given to me from my mom and I named him Buffy. I played w/both all of the time, slept with them too. I don't remember what happened to Robbie but I still have Buffy boxed up somewhere in my room.

Those two bunnies gave me a lot of comfort as a child. Whenever my parents fought and argued w/each other I had a superstition that if I slept w/the both of them they would stop and make up. Even during the times when my dad left the house for a couple of days because the arguments were bad, I just slept with the two and I knew he'd come back, because he always did. I laugh now thinking how silly my superstition was, but I was a child I had to believe in something to make things right.

My sister had her own stuffed animals my parents gave to her. I can remember one, it was a monkey she named Baby Goo-Ga. I don't remember if my brother even had anything...maybe that's why he's the way he is?

Sometimes I blame him not having an older brother to look up to while growing up for him being the way he is. But then again, a lot of guys grow up w/o an older brother and they're fine. I miss how we all were when we were younger though. How happy my brother was, and now his happiness seems so fake and painted on. If only he understood how much we all have given up for him. My mom loves him a lot. She'd do anything for the kid. But he'll never understand it all. And in return we'll never understand him.
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1 comment:

bebiix said...

Don't give up on him.. I think hes a very passionate person just a little lost inside. A guy w big psssion for everythig he does says a lot. I think he should get a dog (:

Ahh your story brings back memories to me. I use to sleep at grandmas all the time. (: tell everyone u love them any chance you see them.