Thursday, November 4, 2010


I’ve already accepted the fact that whatever I do and say will not repay my parents for everything that they have done for my younger siblings and me. The only thing I can hope for is to make them proud of me one day.

There are no two people whom I love more than my mother and father. The two of them have given up everything to give myself and my siblings something. When I was younger (and quite the rebel), they would always tell me “just wait until you have kids of your own, you’ll feel the pain I’m feeling”. I’ve done a lot of things that have hurt them, everything from disobeying them, running away, getting arrested, going to jail, to taking a year off from school, and etc (told you I was quite the rebel).

It still amazes me though that no matter what I do to hurt them, disrespect them, disobey them, or even let them down they are still by my side giving me 100% of their love and support. Although it’s a good thing because I rarely see parents like them. A lot of my friends don’t get the same amount of love and support that I do and they haven’t lived nearly a crazy life like I have, but that’s the thing throughout my twenty something years of breathing, I know that no matter what I do they’ll still be by my side and I’ll admit sometimes I take that for granted. Okay, maybe not sometimes but a lot of the times.

Upon the arrival of graduating from high school, a lot of my friends’ parents would’ve picked a major and career for them to get into, but rather than picking a major, school, and career for me they suggested things that I would be good at, and stuck by me with whatever I chose. I’ve switched majors so many times now its surpassed being able to count on one hand. Honestly though, if it wasn’t for my parents I probably wouldn’t continue going to school. I enjoy learning the things I do in school, but it’s just not for me. But if graduating from college is one of the things that’ll make my parents proud, I’m going to get it done.

I’ve said it before, but whoever my future husband may be, he better get a long w/my parents because they are getting older, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to let them live alone or have strangers take care of them in a nursing home. My parents have done everything in their power to keep me happy in life; the least I can do is try to do the same for them until they’re gone.

Friends say I get my looks from my mom, and those who know my dad say I get my crazy personality from him. I’m afraid to have children because I’m afraid I’ll fail as a parent. I have no idea what to do with a baby when I hold one, let alone thinking about raising one myself. But when does a person know they have failed as a parent?—In my opinion, you know you’ve failed when you stop giving your children the love and support they need. No matter what your child goes through, gets into, or is, as a parent you have to give them unconditional love and support.

Lately I've been asking myself this question a lot: What on Earth have I done to deserve the life that I live? I have the love and support of my parents, siblings, and friends. Something I feel I don't deserve.

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