Monday, February 7, 2011

Never would I have thought

Maybe I have been living in my perfect little bubble.
Maybe God gave me extra blessings.
Maybe I still have a lot to encounter and experience.
Maybe i'm not a 40 year old trapped in a 20 something year old's body.
But whatever it is, this world is cruel.
When time gets tough I constantly remind myself that others have it worse than I do, but it wasn't until this weekend that I really got a glimpse of what that meant with someone so close yet so far away.
None the less, everything was a deal breaker for me in my decision making process.
I was given the opportunity more than once, and was asked over and over again if I was sure, but I refused to accept it.

So where do I go from here?
Carry on as I did before, not knowing of all the trials and tribulations that someone went through?
Cut off and avoid because life is too short to make every mistake yourself, so I gotta learn from other's?
Or just keep to myself and continue to lie like I had to today?
I'm not one to lie about anything, even though everyone lies. But lying to family isn't what I should go through life doing.

Whoever said blood is thicker than water definitely haven't lived long enough to know that it's not. Or they are as blessed as I am to never have experienced the fucked up shit that other's have.
With that said, it was a good run. But as each day goes on, I wanna make life easier for myself and those I surround myself with. --Not make it harder.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

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