Monday, January 10, 2011

My little Angels

I’ve always been overly protective of my family. I don’t tolerate people who put them down in any way no matter who you are. I remember sticking up for my brother, even fighting little boys when we were younger because he was getting picked on by some kids who thought they could get away with it. I feel like I’m even more protective of him now because of how he has been.

For the people that already know him or have met him, yes I know he’s different but once you really have a conversation with him and see how he is as a person you’ll see a whole different side of him that not many get to see. I’ve brought him to a couple get togethers in the past couple of weeks and I think there are only a couple of people who have taken the time to really do that. Thanks for giving him a chance, and not judging him like everyone else does.

And for those of you who didn’t even know I had a brother to begin with or for those who knew but have never met him there’s a reason for that. So many of you judge people, and I’m sick of people doing that. I don’t give a fuck if you judge me, but when you judge my family members that is a different story. It’s not that I’m embarrassed or ashamed of who he is, I just want to protect him because not everyone understands what it’s like to have someone in your life that you care for a lot who has certain conditions that they can’t control.

99.9% of my friends are scared of him. Even my guy friends who aren’t scared of anything or anyone are scared of him. I knew why they were, but I never understood why until a couple of days ago. It was the closest experience I’ve ever have gotten to him hurting me, ever. It made me realize a couple of things: 1. He’s capable of hurting people (I know this from his past history), but when it comes to his immediate family he won't physically do anything to inflict pain. 2. He just wants us to know what he's capable of doing.

My sister and I talked about the incident after it happened and she told me a story that made me see his selfless side and think on past events that reflected that side also. Despite what any doctor, psychiatrist, person, says he is my brother. I love him, and he has a heart.

I was probably about three or four years old. My family and I were renting this house in an older neighborhood in Eagan before we moved to Bloomington to live with one of my aunts from my mom’s side. There’s bits and pieces that I remember from that house, but one memory that I’ll never forget was when we were all sleeping on a couple of mattresses laid out on the ground in one of the bedrooms, I woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream . I sat up and stared at my two little siblings sleeping in front of me. I took my index finger from each hand and stuck it Tiff and Dave’s palm. They must’ve felt it because when I did that they both squeezed my index fingers.

That moment made me realize I was a big sister and that it was my job to protect them. My sister now has a wonderful boyfriend whom my family adores to protect her. So it's just my brother left.

*****

I was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch w/my dad, sister, and Paul (for those of you who don't know he's my sister's boyfriend). I was telling them how I got tickets to go on The Price is Right, and my dad starts imitating Bob Barker "And we have Tammy from Minnesota up here." Then my sister joins in and starts talking about how I'll bid on something for a dollar but it'll turn out to be .50 cents. I was laughing hysterically when Paul joins in on the fun and says "And when she's spinning the wheel, she's gonna have to ask for help cause she's too short and the wheel will be too heavy." --I love little simple things like this. Makes my day complete. Oh and I thought all of this would be too weird for Paul, but he joined in on the fun...welcome to the family kiddo.

1 comment:

bebiix said...

Your brother is awesome.
I remember him telling me that he loves dogs and that he's a very affectionate person.

I just thought that was cute ;)