Sunday, January 3, 2010

2010, I have been anticipating you.

There are two things that I have been anxious for in this upcoming year, start of a new decade that I can think of off the top of my head:
1) taking that next step and moving in with Thinh
2) my future travel destinations

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When you’ve been with someone as long as Thinh and I have been, what exactly is the next step? Is there such a thing? I feel like our relationship has been to heaven, down to hell, and now it feels like we’re back on solid ground. Neither heaven, but at least it’s not down in hell again.

Recently, he’s brought up to my attention again about how I should stop thinking in terms of him and I, and that it’s us, our, and we. It’s so hard for me to do that and change my mindset, when it’s always been me, someone that is independent. I know that has been really hard on him, and that it’s making him unmotivated to stay, but I hope he doesn’t quit. That’d be a shame.

Moving in together, we both don’t have a problem with this idea because we’re always together on the weekends anyway. But the more and more he talks about his problems with f_____, it makes me second guess if he’s really wanting to take this next step because of us or because of his problems.

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I’ve been wanting to go back to the Motherland ever since I left it back in freshman year of high school. I remember how much fun it was for me and Dave. We both talked about how when we would start saving money to go back in the summer and buy our own xe honda’s (those mopeds) and ride them around in Saigon and Ba Ria. Now, it has been seven years since my first and only visit (to date) back to Vietnam. Once I get one of these jobs (two upcoming interviews and one of them is a second interview with the employer) I told Thinh we are going to start saving to go back together. Whether or not we go back together, I’m going to go back.

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If there’s one thing I learned in life, it’s not to depend on anyone to do anything for you, if you want things done right, you gotta do it yourself or you’ll always be disappointed.

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