Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Various thoughts

The careerist

I used to want to fall in love, marry the man of my dreams, have his kids, get a place together and do what most people do in life, but after being single for however long now I feel completely different. I can be the domestic wife if I want to be, but I’m more of the career woman. I want to see the world, try every kind of food there is out there, meet new people, basically live life to the fullest (everyone has their own definition of what living life to the fullest is to them) and love+husband+kids+a house in one location will not do it for me. I’m not closing the door on being a domestic wife; maybe one day I will meet a man who will get me to believe in love where I’ll put my dreams will mold into another dream. But right now the opportunity cost of my travelling the world dream --no one man can take that away from me.

Summer twenty-ten

The past six weeks has been amazing, yet strange at the same time. I think I overdosed on Chicago. Going to Chicago, Chicago coming to me, me going to Chicago every two weeks has been crazy. Definitely lots of memories made, and that is something you can’t put a price on.

This summer so far has definitely put lots of things to the test: my ability to be spontaneous, my ability to handle changes, my feelings for people, my relationship with people, everything and anything! I was this person who loved to plan things ahead; I had to know what was going to happen tomorrow before today was over. Now I’m starting to soak in today and let tomorrow happen for it. Being as spontaneous as I ever have been in my life and I have to admit, it feels good. My ability to handle changes has gotten better than ever; I’m so good at adapting that I’m scaring myself. My feelings and relationships with certain people are definitely over, keeping a distance from them. And I’m now almost as certain more than I have ever been that Thinh and I won’t ever work out. Etc etc etc.

There’s this one thing that I just can’t fathom. I don’t know what to think when it comes to it or if there’s even anything to think about. With the thing I’m trying to put my over analyzing mind to rest by letting each day take its course, but I have to say old habits do die hard. I’m almost positive I’m just making nothing into something, but that’s how everything starts.

but forreal though, one question: Why oh why do you have to make me smile?

Reason, season, or lifetime

New people come into our lives all of the time and each individual fits one of the three: for a reason (to fulfill something), for a season (for a certain time period), or for a lifetime. Which one do you fit into?

1 comment:

Anticipating Release said...

lifetime, i'm beyond onyx i'm diamond.