Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cloudy Mind

I tried catching up on some tv shows, but my mind wouldn't let me concentrate on how funny Ari Gold usually is so here I am...

Leap of Faith

I typically trust my head over my heart. But when it’s real, you can’t run from it. So I say try your hardest, put your all into it, and if that doesn’t make things work then that’s how you know it wasn’t meant to be. –because there’s nothing else you could’ve done to hold it all together. But until you can truly say that you’ve done everything in your power, put your pride aside and give it a shot. You’ll never know until you take that leap of faith. I would rather feel sad for a short period of time after things don’t work out, than to hold back what I feel and be stuck with a lifetime of regrets and burning questions of “what if’s”. #thinkaboutit


No matter how much I try to convince myself and other’s that I don’t have any pride when it comes to men and relationships, we all know I have a lot of pride. I always feel like I have to show everyone I’m not one of those stupid na├»ve girls who’ll fall for every other word that comes out of a man’s mouth. I feel like people always underestimate me because of my size, like I’m weaker physically and emotionally than what I really am.

I guess I do have something that I’m trying to prove to people, what I’m capable of.

When to believe?

I’ve been considered “one of the guys” all of my life, and a perk with being friends with so many guys is that I get an inside look at their world. Most of my guy friends are sweethearts and would treat a girl right because they know she deserves it, but boys will be boys and there are a lot of them that are man-whores. That’s why I don’t think much of the words most guys tell me because I think it’s just a game to them. If a man wants you, nothing will stop him from trying to get you. I’m also a firm believer of actions speak louder than words. But after hearing him say those too-good-to-be-true words and him showing you that he’s genuinely interested when do you start believing that his actions are real and not just a game?

I think with how things have been for myself, when he, himself starts believing that’s when I will also. #lethispridego

Life right now

I feel like the past few months I’ve been trying to chase down every temporary high to satisfy me only to be disappointed. I’ve made some pretty poor decisions in the past—well to most it’d seem like a bad decision, but it was one I made that made me realize and grow. I feel like the next big decision I make will be another poor one, but I’ve been itching like crazy to do it. I want to move again, I’ve actually have been wanting to move since I’ve moved back to Minnesota for three months, but with me being with Thinh and starting school and everything I felt staying in Minnesota would be the best for my future. I mean yes it would be to finish school here, but I really want to get out of here. To the point where I just want to save a grip load of money and pick everything up and just leave one random day. #nothisdoesn’thavetodowithaboy

I can’t imagine myself owning a house because I’m the type that would want to get up and leave. Having a mortgage would only set me back from living in the many different places the world has to offer. So would having a family.

Random (memorable) conversation(s)

B: I hate YOU! I got so used to kicking it with you that it already feels weird and it's only been 2 hrs...

Me: Is that your way of saying you miss me without it actually sounding cakey? if it is then I miss you too.

- - - - -
B: [stares at me] come here, give me a kiss before we're drunk
^ that one is one of my favs b/c it's just one of those "actions" that kinda showed me that he's genuinely interested.

1 comment:

bebiix said...

you found a little sparkle in your life..
take the leap, whats to lose?
if you get hurt, you stand up.
if not, then your in luck :)

and if you do move, please let me know :)