There are the givers, those are people you see who give unconditional love to everyone. The people pleaders, the ones who will drop everything they're doing to help in time of need. The ones you think of as selfless.
Then there are the takers, those are people who are constantly willing to suck everyone's time and love with no regard for anyone other than themselves. The ones who will wait until they're finished with what they're in the middle of, and start what they want next before helping anyone in need. The ones you think of as self centered.
I have this ridiculous habit of trying my hardest to be in the middle. I keep tabs of when and what someone gives me for my birthday, Christmas, just because and try my best to give the same amount back. I also keep mental tabs of when someone has gone out of their way to spend time or help me so I'm able to give the same back.
But then there are these handful of people...my mental list of what they've given me in a lifetime just keeps getting longer and longer and I'm not able to cross them outs cause it's been difficult trying to give the same back.
And maybe that's the culprit of this spring of the moment behavior, why I can't stop crying. I just want to clear myself of all debts.
Sent from my iPad
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