Thursday, April 15, 2010

"How are you holding up?"

Going back and rereading some of my previous blog posts, I talked about mine and Thinh’s relationship, a lot! It’s kind of crazy to believe now that we aren’t even together as a couple anymore.

So many people have been asking me about my current state on our break up and my answer? That I’m doing fine. It’s not that I’m trying to be this strong person and covering up my emotions, it is the honest truth because I am fine.

Many of them think it’s impossible or hard to be “fine” especially after such a long relationship, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’ve just accepted and know that we just aren’t meant to be. I believe that if you try your hardest and put your all into something and in the end it still doesn’t work out, that that’s when you know that there isn’t anything more that you could do to change the results. Like my belief, it happened. I tried my hardest, put my all into our relationship and in the end we still didn’t work out so obviously, there are other people out there for us.

Another factor that has helped me be “fine” with everything is that we simply just don’t share the same values and beliefs in life. I know I’m young and many of my friends are telling me to take this single time to try and find what I want, but that’s the thing: I already know what I want, I just want a guy who shares the same things that I want out of life. Thinh and I didn’t share the same beliefs and values so it was hard to communicate. I like the differences that we shared, but he didn’t. If one person is out on a two person relationship, it’s kind of hard to work on things by yourself.

There are so many other factors that play into our break up, but if you see me, just know that I’m honestly fine. Like a friend of mine said to me earlier in the day “I know you’re fine, you always somehow make it fine for yourself.”

I don't even find myself missing him or thinking about him until someone asks me the wonderful question of: "How are you holding up?"

We’re all stronger than we think we are.

Upon our break up, I didn't even want to think about being friends with him because we just had so much in our past together that it'd be hard to let it all go to be just friends, but now after finding myself taking the whole situation better than I thought I would've, being friends isn't such a bad idea. I mean, we were together for awhile, and it's not like he did anything bad to make me want to end it, or I did anything bad for him to want to end things, so why not? If he was to date someone tomorrow and I was there to see it, I'd be happy for him. He deserves to be happy, if being happy with another person or single is what it takes than I'm fine with that, as long as he's happy, even if that means not being with me.

Blah blah brain is fried from the all nighter. Time to eat leftover HKN w/my study buddy and off to work I go. If I think of anything else to blog about on this subject I'll write about it. Night world.


Anonymous said...

i'm sad because i'm not sad about my break up. does that make sense? i feel like i should feel something lol

<3 said...

i know what you mean. i feel like i should be sad, because everyone thinks i should be, but it's actually refreshing. i think i was anticipating it.