I'm going to give all of my secrets away

I'm tempted to write this post as a list post, but I haven't written a real post in a while so I guess I'll try to make it a legit one.

Priorities

If you've been following me, reading my blog, or know me at least a little; then you should know that I'm all for doing whatever it takes to make you happy. It doesn't necessarily mean giving up on your values and goals and etc to be it, just find a compromise. I'm pretty sure I've found a balance between my values, my family...life for myself to be happy. The only hard part now is attaining this balance and this happiness.

I wish everyone could have the balance that I have.

What just upsets me most is when people are willing to give up the one thing that makes them happy most because they think they're psychic and think they can see the future. Don't sit there and tell me, or most importantly, tell yourself that you know this and that will happen. No, you don't know that this and that will happen, you don't even know if you're going to live to see tomorrow so quit making up excuses to not be happy. Yes, it'll be hard. Yes, it'll be a lot of work. And yes, there's some things you can and can't do to make it work, but no one's ever said being happy was easy, it'd just be worth it. but it'd only be worth it once you stop making excuses and start giving it a try. take the MF chance, you'd be stupid not to.

Yes that was a subliminal message.

Life right now

I'm choosing not to go back to school this fall.

I'm no longer w/Wells Fargo.

And it's funny b/c I loved the job that I had.

It's even more funny because with all of this time, it's giving me all of the time I want/need to travel.

Yeah, well remember how I wanted so much to drop everything to travel or move somewhere crazy?

I think I'm slowly dropping everything to give myself an excuse to do it, make it happen.

There are some that plan it, some that talk about it...I'm definitely one that goes and does it.

This weekend

Before last week started, I was so sure that I wanted to go to Chicago this weekend and to spend it w/the one person I've been missing, but now I'm not sure anymore. And I don't even know why I'm not sure.

Before we started talking, I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew that I shouldn't, but I still did anyways. I knew I shouldn't because of the way his. But it's funny what feelings will make you do.

A friend told me today that I shouldn't be investing my time, money, and happiness into someone that wasn't going to do the same for me, because I shouldn't have to share my happiness with another girl. #ineedtothinkaboutthis

Expectations

I'm not one to expect much out of a person, especially when I know I shouldn't be expecting anything from them. But there is one thing that I expect out of everyone I associate myself with and that's honesty. I have no tolerance for liars and that goes for all kinds of lies. I understand why people lie; because they're scared of what others will think and they're trying to protect something, but I'm also a pretty understanding person. I like to think that I can see a situation from different perspectives, and I haven't heard a truth yet where I was disappointed or upset. It takes a lot of courage for someone to tell the truth, that's why I embrace it, no matter how serious the situation is.

A couple months into dating Thinh, my friend told me that Thinh cheated on me and that he saw it with his own eyes because he was there when it happened. I wasn't upset about it because I know better than to take everything a person says and just assume that, that person is right. So I went and asked Thinh about it first, and he told me a story, and somehow it ended up him telling me a lie to cover it up and I eventually found out days later because the guilt ate him up and he came clean. I wasn't disappointed or upset that he cheated. I was upset and disappointed that I gave him a chance to be honest about the situation and he didn't take it. Silly boy should've known that the truth always uncovers itself.

It's never a good-bye

I hate good-byes. I hate the phrase because it confirms that you'll never see the person again. Does anyone in your life really only deserve a certain amount of time in your life? Or do I really only deserve a certain amount of time in your life?

I was never good at saying bye to anyone. I remember when I moved to St. Louis, I threw a bajillion going away parties. Only a bajillion because I didn't know where to end it. Would I really not see these people anymore after the party? It was always a no, and on the weekend that i actually did leave I just disappeared. It was like I never existed. I'd rather have it be like that then to sit there and see people sad because I'm leaving a certain location. I knew I was going to be back, so did they.

If I had things my way

I would say my see ya laters to my family and friends, and hop on the next plane out to Australia. Who knows when I'd be back.

That's what I get for not having a plan B. But wait, it's hard to have a plan B when you don't even have a plan A.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I've chosen the friends that I have for a reason. And a huge reason is that I can learn and grow from each and every one of them. That's why I the ones that I keep close to me are so different. I've come to realize that not everyone is like me, and I can't expect them to be like me in any way, especially through personalities. So I do what I can and I've learned to embrace the personalities. We've all gone through similar and different things in life and with that we all have different experiences and perspectives. That's why I love it when my friends and I have serious talks, I get to learn what their perspectives are on things.

8 wishes

eight: my parents to travel the world, they deserve it

seven: a cool job like party planner or an important person's personal assistant (job not career)

six: motivation to finish school

five: my brother to be not what he is or has right now

four: my sister to quit being a bitch to me

three: a personal chef who knows how to cook every dish there is in the world

two: NYC and australia at the palms of my hands

one: you to be happy

the wishes above are not in any particular order, they're just wishes

random blurbs

Getting tired and hungry. Not a good combo.

OneRepublic - Secrets

I need a tan, paleness doesn't suit me.

I should start toning down my compulsive dress buying disorder, especially with no income.

Today's horoscope is crazy, what's crazier is that my fortune from last night's family dinner goes hand in hand.

I've fallen way behind on the 30 day challenge...

This weekend was quite the weekend, definitely one of the better ones in summer of 2k10

One word: Halloween

With no job and no school, I'm probably going to become a gym whore

I really want to see "Remember Me" even though Rob Pattinson is in it...dude can't act.

I wonder if my sister is still taking me as her +1 for the advance screening of Going the Distance

Going the Distance probably will be enjoyable just because I can relate.

More of my friends need to get married.

I want a wedding just for the celebration, not for the meaning behind it. Maybe someday I'll want one for the meaning.

going to watch Remember Me now, and k.o. Swt dreams readers.

Oh man. I keep surprising myself everyday.
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One of my uncle's just gave me an offer of the century. But it includes me dropping everything.
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Question: why am are we doing this to ourselves?
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random blurbs

-don't you just love it when things fall into place without you even knowing it?

....yeah, think about it. If this and that didn't happen when it did, you wouldn't be right where you are right now.

...but this and that did happen, and you are right where you are..sooooo what now?--better than asking yourself what if, if you ask me. (=

-jammin' to Azure Ray - Sleep, right this instance. Thinking thinking thinking, what's new?

...when I read my previous posts, most of them are time stamped in the AM's...funny how that is. Maybe sleep isn't my thing, maybe I really truly do feel that sleep is a waste of time, or maybe life just won't let me rest. Too tired to do anything, but too awake to sleep.

-The Backstreet Boys. I still know all of the words to every one of their songs. I remember back in the days when cd players were the cool thing, I'd always have a BSB cd playing. Especially before I fell alseep, I'd sing in my room, to myself. Where are all of those cds now?! Must find.

-just got a surprise text from an old friend. Why hello to you too stranger. Reason, season, or a lifetime. Either way, I hope I'm remembered, because I deserve to be.

-strange how little brothers and little sisters look older than us older siblings now-a-days. wtheck are they putting in the milk these days? roids????!? Which reminds me, I kinda wish I was taller. #keepdreamin

-"When I started flirtin with the hustle, failure became my ex. Now im engaged to the game and married to success“—Lil Wayne

...thinking of this quote reminds me of a quote from earlier conversations "all it'll be is pong, wayne, drake, and tyga"

-you know how i talked about fear being so powerful that it overcomes most people's happiness? i just, right now, literally right now realized that happiness has a strong power over me. i'm not sorry that i'm selfish. i've seen too many people unhappy in my lifetime, i just don't wanna be like you. an unhappy life is a life wasted...my thoughts at least. i can name a few of you who'd strongly disagree...but let's agree to disagree on this subject.

-so i heard this saying awhile back, it goes a little something like this "nothing in this life that's worth having comes easy"--so, unbelievably, true.

-“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it’s really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you’re always glad you took it.”- JD; Scrubs---whoever this JD guy is, or I guess whichever writer from Scrubs wrote that line is a smart man/woman.

-sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo how do i break the news to everyone? #dontjudgeme #itsnotwhatyouthinkitis

-fuck what you heard, if you don't know, then you better ask somebody!

-i feel like i'm always going to be the girl who got away. but then again I'm fine with that too.

-you know what's scary to me? spiders, heights, isn't scary, but tomorrow is. i got through today, but no one ever knows about tomorrow. are you going to be there to enjoy it? will the people you care about be there to enjoy it with you?

-wicked, wicked, wicked...gotta get tickets ASAP. i have a feeling labor day weekend ticks will be sold out...prove me wrong!
..but first I hope MFB will visit. lameo he is, always last minute, er last second.

-i miss my brother. with him, i realized another thing about myself. i like running away from my problems. well most of them anyway. like how i never visit him, so i just run, literally. that's my excuse for not seeing him daily like how i used to. i'm a pathetic sister, i know. please don't remind me.

-"if i only had one wisssshhhh" #rayjvoice

-lights out. curtain call. haha i wish! sweet dreams world. cause i know i will be having em.

quote me

"Why do you want to go back in time? Life isn’t about going back. It’s about going forward. Yes, there are times in our lives that we wish we could relive but if we already lived them perfectly, why live them again? The adventure of life is that there’s always something new – new challenges, new experiences. A fun game is a game that gets harder as it goes. So it is with life. Do you understand?"
-South Park

I just made one of the biggest decisions of the year. Some will be disappointed, but I hope they understand why I'm doing it.
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Something I wish I had more of? --time. Time to do what I want in a day, in a life. Time to spend w/family and friends. And time spent talking to MFB, whether it's in person or not.
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Day 6

A song that reminds you of somewhere:


I always have a song for trips that I go on. Guilty reminds me of the Chicago trip my friends and I took back at the end of May. Lots of me mories flood back to my mind when I hear this song play. The countless hours in the hotel room talking about the night before, laughing at the silly people, getting ready to go out, deciding where to eat, etc. It's funny because before the trip, Giang and I were talking about where to go for my birthday, and I told her Chicago was the last place I wanted to go to because I've been to the city countless times before and it was just boring to me. Who knew it would've been one of the best trips I've ever taken in my life. A city in the middle of the U.S. Not too small, not too big.


Favorite super hero and why:

My favorite super hero would have to be Hit Girl from the movie Kick Ass, because she reminds me of myself and through the ways that she isn't me, she motivates me to try it. I don't know...bad explanation.

insomnia

Hair
I wish my bangs didn't take forever and a day to grow out because I really want short hair again. My face is pretty petite so when my hair grows out to be a certain length, I think it's quite unflattering, or it could just be me. I honestly don't even know why I need my bangs to be grown out before I chop it all off, but that's the way it's gotta be.


Clear bra straps
Something totally random, but I dislike them. They're supposed to be inconspicuous but they're not. If anything, they're more noticeable than the nude colored ones. Ladies, just wear a strapless bra, or just wear a different outfit.


What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Someone recently asked me that, and my answer? I know I can't fail at anything I do, so I'm just going to continue what I've been doing, living. It might sound arrogant to most of you, but it's just my mindset. Maybe I won't achieve the goal or the outcome might not be what I was expecting, but that doesn't mean that I have failed. I'll just take the experience, look back at it, learn from it, and grow from it. Easy peasy as 1,2,3.


The glass is always half full.
I know I've blogged about this before in previous posts, but I think this is what sets me apart from a lot of people: my unlimited amounts of optimism and hope. I honestly don't know how or why I have so much of it, but it's definitely one of the reasons why I always have a smile glued to my face. I believe in a lot of things and one of them is in the end everything will be fine, if it's not fine, it's not the end. Tomorrow is never promised to us, and I've seen far too many people complain, whine, cry, obsess about their 'sad' life and I feel bad for them, because of what they're missing out on. What is it that's so bad that you are so sad about? I mean if you think you got it bad, there are far too many others out there who have it worst. #thinkaboutit


Eat, Pray, Eat
I don't know why it took me as long as it did to see the movie, but I finally saw the darn movie. After countless numbers of people telling me how much the book and trailer reminded them of me, I can see in some aspects why they would think that. I'm not going to sit here and give a review of the movie, but I have to say there were some pretty inspiring points, some ideas to dwell on, and also dull moments. If you're interested just see the movie for yourself to judge, because everyone is different.


Fear
It's amazing how fear works, and depending on how you use it, it could either help you or hold you back in life. It could help you by allowing you to feel, see, and realize things you never would have without it. A few examples: the fear of losing someone, the fear of not succeeding, the fear of letting someone down, etc.

I see so many of my peers allow fear to hold them back in life, and as much as I wish I could help them snap out of it, there's only so much I can say to them and as usual words don't travel far enough for people to actually listen. An example of that is although so many of my friends aren't happy in their relationship w/their significant other, they still continue to stay in it because they are comfortable, it's easy, and they fear change. Stupidest thing I've ever seen yes, but like I said how fear works is amazing, and it's so powerful that it'll have people sacrificing their happiness for it.


Pet peeve #230493
Two words I hate using in sentences is: I dream _______. or I wish __________. I mean, yes I use them in that context from time to time, but I try my hardest not to because instead of dreaming or wishing for something to happen, I like to make it happen. Why tease yourself of the thought of the dream and wish if you aren't going to put any action into it. A dream and a wish will only remain a dream and a wish unless you attempt to do the impossible. It's kinda like teasing a fat kid with a cake and not letting him have a slice, why would you do that to yourself?

Some people think about doing things
Some people wish to do things
And some people do

I like to think myself as the person that does. Dreaming and wishing it is just the plan, then I put that plan into action. Mission accomplished.

"Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen" -Blair Waldorf


Giggles
I like to go back and reread the things I've written and see how much of it has changed since then. I read back to my post back in November 13, 2009 and it read:

blah blah blah then..."Trade everything I've known and am comfortable with for something unfamiliar and unknown? People would say I'm crazy if I traded everything I've known in for something unfamiliar, that's why I'm still here, physically. I feel like my heart is elsewhere. You can too."

It's funny how it all worked out in the end. My heart was truly elsewhere. It's a shame that it took me months and months to do something about it though, but then again it took that long for a reason.

Day 5

A song that reminds you of someone:


This song reminds me of my guardian angels. She was the first to teach me a lot of things in life because my parents were both busy working when I was young. I still remember the day when I first met her at the airport w/my aunts, uncles, and cousins from my mommy's side. I also remember the day when she become paralyzed. I was right next to her when it happened. When I think about it now, I feel like how could I not have known something was wrong from the start, but then again I was barely 6 years old. I didn't know any better.

But I just wanted to let you know that I still think about you a lot, and that you made a huge impact on my life. and thank you for watching over not just me but the whole family ba ngoai.



A picture of somewhere you've been to:

Dalat, Vietnam

When I went to this city with my family, it reminded me of home (Minnesota) because it actually snowed there, and people were wearing winter gear. Something totally unexpected because I had only packed for hot, humid, warm weather. Although the city is rather boring with nothing but good food, the scenery is amazing. Lots of mountains, lot of waterfalls, and lots of tourists. It's a shame that we went to Vietnam during my rebellious stage in life. I didn't want to take any pictures or do anything when we were there. So I'm waiting for Summer '11 to roll around.

Family dinners are the best. Couldn't ask for better conversations over a delicious home cooked meal (: best start to my friday night. <3
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Summer's almost over. I can already smell fall in the air through the thick humidity. Planning a long break from everyone and everything soon. #helloworld There's too much out there waiting for me.
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Day 4

A song that makes you sad:
Everclear - Wonderful

First, I would like to say that I don't think any song could really make me 'sad'. I think all songs make me happy, but with this particular song, everytime I listen to it it brings back lots of childhood memories. I was first introduced to this song when I was a child. I probably wasn't any older than 11 or 12 years old. I was going through my rebellious stage in life where I hated my parents, their unfair rules, school, everything and anything. I remember this was also around the same time where my parents would fight a lotttt. The first verse was always what I listened for when I hear this song, and it still is.

"Cause when it gets too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
I close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope its over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
I hope my Mom
And I hope my Dad
Would figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream
I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry
I close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels that make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say everything will be wonderful some day"

A habit that I wish I didn't have:

I don't think I could pick just one for this. I would love to not have any bad habits, but unfortunately I'm human. I wish I didn't have such a potty mouth. I think it's pretty unattractive when not only girls cuss, but also guys. I shouldn't be one to talk because my potty mouth is pretty bad, but I'm making an attempt to calm it down.

I also wish I managed my time better to be on time for everything I have to appear at. I'm late to everythinggg, even work. No matter how much I try to wake up earlier, drive faster, sleep earlier, I'm still late to wherever it is that I have to be at. I apologize to everyone who's ever had to experience sitting by themselves because they were waiting for me to show up.

Day 3

A picture of you and your friends:

Amanda's 21st Birthday w/my girls. imu guys. Reunion when Amanda comes home. <3

I'm pressed for time

Time is such a funny character.
You say go fast, he goes slow.
You say go slow, he sails by.

b/c everyone loves lists

things that inspire
-good music (lyrics + rhythm)
-food
-well written books
-good movies
-long and short run sessions
-conversations over dinner
-drinks over happy hour
-photography
-time w/family

things that relaxes
-time spent at Lifetime Fitness
-run sessions outside
-good music
-food
-long showers
-driving
-mini naps in the steam room
-blogging

things that i miss
-my brother
-after sunday school and mass lunches w/mother and the sister
-koala-ing
-staying in
-cooking
-the fam (ya'll know who you are)
-the sun
-dexter
-hanging out w/the stp boys
-star gazing
-young ambitions

things that i could live without
-rude people/people w/no manners
-grey skies and rain
-the entire month of august
-good-byes
-ke$hsa
-time
-silly games
-cellulite
-bang grease that gives you forehead pimples
-debbie downers
-closed minds

things that i could not live without
-my camera
-blackberries
-the internet
-music
-food
-happiness

things i wish i had more of
-spontaneous decisions
-time
-summer
-sun
-time w/family
-time w/friends
-time w/my brother minus the meds
-koala-ing
-travels
-food

things that i believe in
-God
-music, food, writing does the soul good
-serendipity
-that 20 yrs from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do then the things you did do
-patience is a virtue
-life's too short to be anything but happy

you can tell a lot by a person with
-the music they listen to
-the movies they prefer watching
-how they treat their family
-the way they drive
-how they treat their friends
-how they treat their belongings
-where they are in life
-their current goals (long and short) and ambitions
-their smile

Day 2

The meaning behind your tumblr/blogspot name:
t4mmy...is just my name w/the '4' as an 'a'. Nothing more, nothing less. Pretty boring, I know.

Day 3 a song that makes you happy: The empire of sun - walking on a dream...how I feel everyday in life. I'm walking on a moon.
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Challenges

Music Challenge Day 2 (yes I have been neglecting you) Least favorite song:
Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow...even though the beat and lyrics are catchy, I can't help but cringe and flip the station immediately when it's played on the radio. It ale so doesn't help when the radio overplays it.

30 Day Challenge, Day one: A recent picture of you and fifteen interesting facts about yourself

Oanh and I taken earlier today at Sushi Tango



For the 15 facts I'll try and pick different ones than the ones I have on my Facebook to make it something new
1. you can play almost any song from any genre and I'll know the name and artist
2. I have a strange and weird phobia of round circular small things Ex: skittles, m&m's, grapes, cherries, marbles, etc.
3. my favorite animal is the lion
4. my favorite disney movie is the lion king
5. if there was one thing i wished my parents would've pushed on me when i was younger it'd definitely have to be playing the piano
6. halloween is my favorite holiday because it's the one day of the entire year where you get to be anyone in the world but yourself
7. even though i don't do it much, i enjoy cooking a lot. I wish i had more time to cook
8. i'm a huge NFL fan.
9. i hate sweets, but i'm slowly learning to appreciate the taste
10. i've switched my major so many times setting me back, but it hasn't stopped me from continuing
11. i've switched my major so many times because i can't pick just one thing to do for the rest of my life
12. living each day, day by day is harder than i thought it would be
13. my favorite color is the rainbow
14. my favorite channel on tv is HGTV
15. i want to do everything and see everything this world has to offer