I've been meaning to make a post about my guardian angel, and how I know she's mine and my family's guardian anglel, and what have led me to believe it. But I just haven't gotten around to it yet. BUT

My brother just totaled my sister's car while driving her and himself to work. After all of these years, she's still looking down on us and watching over us to make sure we're ok. <3

It's the anniversary of her death today. (I posted on my FB her birthday sorry mistake!)

Maybe after I get out of the shower I'll tell you guys my story.

The three of us back in the days

Today marks my little brother and sister's 20th birthday. They are no longer teens, and are a year closer to being able to drink legally. Even when that day comes, I have no doubt that I can trust them with alcohol. Neither of them have shown any interest in drinking in the past unlike myself, so I know I can trust them when they do turn of age next year. But that is next year and this year they are finally 20!

I'm proud to see where the both of them are right now in life. And even though they both can be the pain in the ass most of the time, they are my blood, family, and I love them very much so. Just like my parents, if anything was ever to happen to either one of them, I think I'd be depressed...<3 you both very much so! and I hope they both get what they wished for, even though this year, I cannot give them whatever it is they want because I recently just lost my job, but hopefully when Christmas rolls around, I'll be employed again and can give them somewhat of a little something something. (=

This is as deep as I can go since it's five in the morning, and I just got done reading pages after pages of philosophy..but I may add a little more later on today.

I just logged onto my fotki to pic a photo of the day, and I saw that someone looked into my prom albums! Wtf?! haha!!!

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Not a polaroid! But I feel this is the speed my life is going at 100mph, and it's not stopping. &&& I would love to just TRAVEL right now.

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Today was my last DWC class. It's once a week for twelve weeks that I have to go for two hours and sit there and listen and learn how to change my thoughts, beliefs, and actions to try and not relapse (makes me sound like a hardcore drug addict!). It was a drag at first to go to those classes once a week for twelve freakin weeks, and not to mention that they were two hours long each, but it was a good experience. $240 for the class alone not including other fees so I encourage everyone to find a sober driver each and every time you drink!

The experience was good because I got to know myself a little bit better, what my goals are, and how I affected others in my life with my DWI. I am proud to say that I will never ever drink while I know I have to drive again. And shame on those for peer pressuring me, when fully knowing that I have to drive!

There were many people who helped and supported me through this and still are so I'd like to thank:

My sister; she's done a lot for me like drive me to and from work and school, sometimes dropping me off to meet up with Thinh, to eat, the malls, waking up early as hell, and dropping off things for me late as hell. I know she complains about it and it gets annoying but without her, I don't know how I would've made it to work and school everyday + that court date.

My daddy; he's gone as far as hiding this whole thing from my mom, something that every husband shouldn't do, but he loves his children and knows when and how to protect them when they need it most. and he's the one who convinced me not to waste 5 G's on a stupid lawyer, thank goodness!!

Oanh; she's encouraged me to not drink when I don't need to and she's picked me up several times to go meet up with Thinh and to hang out with us. I think without her encouragment I would've ended up "relasping." LOL

My close friends; I don't need to name all of your guys' names, but thanks for the support. (=

Last but not least: Thinh; He's done more than enough, more than he should already. When it first happened, he bailed me out, gave me a place to stay until I could go home (long story! it was Thanksgiving weekend, my whole family was over the day when I got bailed out and my dad told everyone I was in Chicago w/friends so I couldn't go home), helped answer my questions about lawyers, prosecutors, court, fines, charges, and it was all when we weren't back together yet. Even when we did get back together a few weeks after the DWI, he was very supportive and picked me up early in the mornings (which is very sweet of him since he's not a morning person at all) to drive me to court, forced me to pay my previous tickets before the DWI, drives down to my hood to hangout with me on weekdays, picks me up drops me off on weekends, etc. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend/bestfriend. <3

Everyone has been really supportive, and I am very very grateful for that! Now it's my turn to return the favor by making sure that no one in my life gets in the same situation I was put in. Jail for two days wasn't fun, paying expensive fines aren't fun (I could've taken at least three trips w/that money!), missing school and work to go to court dates aren't fun, the DWC classes are expensive and aren't fun although you learn a lot, being on probation sucks, not being able to drive for a certain period sucks. It just makes you more dependent on those around you, and some people might not get lucky like me to have so many people to depend on and to support you. So don't drink and drive everyone!!!

Life's too short to make every mistake yourself, so learn from other peoples!

I wish I had the balls to quit school, put everything and everyone in my life behind and just travel the world.

Life is too short for this and that. Definitely too short to stay put in one place for too long.

Blogging from my BlackBerry right now and it's so hard and slow! Blogspot, if you're reading this, please make a BB app already! It'd make my life so much easier!

I'm trying to do things different. I need to declutter my life of unneccessary things and unneccessary people. I said I was going to start this months ago, but those people always seem to find a way to crawl back into my life. It's frustrating and very annoying. Which makes me think should I just tell the person straight up how I think of her? But that would just cause awkwardness and tension when we do see each other because we have plenty of mutual friends, OR just cut her out without her knowing? But then she'd just keep acting like we're still good friends.

I just can't shake this person off. No matter how much I want to remain silent, apart of me just wants to scream and let her and everyone know what a bogus person she is! I have the right to call her that because I know her well enough to know how she is in and out, sideways and longways.

Anyways, why is it that I've been feeling dumb in my geo class? I know I'm smarter than I've been acting in labs, but my lab partner always just knows how to make my brain go crazyyy!

I need to find a job pronto!!

I wish I could just win the lottery already. I've always thought of winning the lottery as the "easy way out" but I can't help it but feel lucky or...lost my trail of thought cause T called. Beat from school, finish this tmr.

The Power of Lists

places in the near future i will go:
NYC, New York
Toronto, Canada
Duluth, Minnesota
Madison, Wisconsin
LA, California


feel good things:
t and i reaching our ten months (realistically 48 months, that's not including the year apart)
finishing my one year (realistically five years) gift to t
de cluttering my life, my room and my car
doing good in school
saving money for christmas, trips
spending money for christmas, trips
getting a new and exciting job
Glee, Gossip Girl, & Greek; three of my favorite shows


languages i will master:
vietnamese
spanish
chinese
latin


things i want for greed, and don't need, but sincerely want:
a macbook pro
new ugg boots
a dslr
winning the lottery

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I can't seem to get rid of that travel bug that bit me months ago. And now that I'm unemployed, more and more of my time is spent thinking and planning about that next vacation.

I'm very tempted to take out a fat loan, and spend it on traveling all across Europe and Asia. Very tempted.

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Positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS.

..pause the music to your right and click play to these:





<3Glee, why can't Wednesday be here already?

I've been surrounding myself around new people lately. And that's a good thing. Sometimes I just need to get to know new people.

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I can see through your fake bullshit and your lies. I don't want to bring any drama, so I will leave the man above to handle your b.s. The best thing you had from me was my honesty, loyalty, and respect. But you're losing all of that now. And the sad part is that she was right. You think you're better than everyone else, but yet you're a follower, you agree with what everyone is doing, and you put on this "nice girl" act. but fuck it, I can see pass it, and I don't want anything to do with you anymore.

I've honestly tried to stop talking about people, and I'm honestly going to try and make this my last one. But I just couldn't hold it in anymore. and I SO wish I could just say the person's name on here to get it out of my system. BUT I must resist and let God do his thing..

"There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who makes you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too shor...t to be anything, but happy."

Time for myself to be HAPPY.

"It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it."

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My first dozen roses I've ever recieved from anyone. Valentines Day 2005
(sorry about the weird resized pics, it looks funky!)

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The sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me would be the night when I was out camping with everyone (my usual friends Fanyan, Felix, Brian, Steven, Richard, Pat, GMR, etc etc) summer of '05, but this year was different because I got T, ChiChi, Harold, and Phuc to come out with us also. The only downside to it was that T and them could only stay for one night. So after the night and day that we spent together, T and I were spending time in my tent before he had to leave and he took out his cologne, which btw is one of my favorite scents of all time (Classic by Banana Republic) and sprayed his comforter all over with it.

T, then gave me the comforter and told me that he didn't want me to miss him too much and that I could sleep w/his comforter all night. (=

The sweetest thing ever. He is the sweetest ever.

This is my first time sleeping in until noon on a weekday since a very long time, and dang did it feel good. But I gotta admit, I do feel like a bum now.

I guess T got what he wished for; for me to either work less and more studying, or just more studying. I granted him the second option yesterday afternoon. Yep, I quit my job at M&I. I couldn't stand working with my fake ex supervisor anymore. I put up with so much b.s. the past two months, that I just couldn't work with her anymore. Time to job hunt now. Anyone know a place hiring for at least $11/hour, hollatchagirl!!

I must admit though, it feels good to just worry about school and not work at the same time. But dang, I was doing soooo good for my sales this month, oh wait I do good every month though. (=

I believe things happen for a reason, so I'm anxious to see what will come out of this.

I loved M&I as a company and my coworkers minus the supervisor. I really wanted to continue giving my services to them, and to my customers but I guess another company will be getting that now. Looking into going back to Wells. This will be funny, I haven't gone to an interview in over two years!!


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Thinh & I Florida Trip 09
Both of our first time to Disney World
He's one of the only people I can truly trust 100% other than my immediate family

When I trust someone, I put 99.9% of my trust in them. I don't trust anyone half way, or 1/3 of the way, it's all of the way. But it's sad to think that you can't trust anyone but yourself these days.

I never thought you'd do the things you did. When I care and love someone like I did with you, I get blinded. I thought you were better than that. You were one of the few I had respect for.

Speaking of respect, it seems like I've been losing lots of it lately for my fellow girls out there. When you degrade yourself with sleeping around and gold digging, I can't help but think of how low of a person you must be. I definitely don't want to be affilated with anyone like that. Because you are who you hang out with, and it seems like all of the tricks be hanging out with each other these days.

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I'm excited for Halloween. We are 99.9% sure on going to Madison. My favorite holiday just got better.

My fortune I got in a fortune cookie while having dinner for Thinh's Mom's Birthday | September 20, 2009

Oh boy, where has the time gone? You know they say, time flies when you're having fun, but I wouldn't call the last month 'fun'. It's already the beginning of fall, and it has already been a month into the fall semester. Which also means exams in all of my classes. I've already taken two last week, I have two more this week, and luckily one of my classes will never ever have quizzes, tests, or exams! Whoo hoo a break! haha. My brain feels all fried out, and my eyes can hardly open themselves anymore.

Thinh keeps bringing up the fact that I don't have time for anything. The more he brings it up, the more I feel overwhelmed. I never thought I was doing "too" much. I just thought of it as keeping myself busy so I don't waste my life bumming around. I work everyday for 8 hours. I have class M-Thurs for at least 1 1/2 hours (tuesdays are my long days where I'm at work from 6am-2pm then off to school from 3pm-9:20pm), that's already at least 11 hours of the day gone, and that doesn't include eating, showering, and homework.

Me: I feel like I have no time to do anything baby, I have so much to do tomorrow.
T: Well that's because you have no time to do anything hunnie. Your whole day is gone by the time get you get home from school.

He's truly sweet for worrying, but can a girl just get a little support? Not that I need it, but he's always telling me how much work I have to do and that I have no time. I realize that, and I chose not to change it for a reason. It's not that I doubt myself, it's just the more he brings it up, the more I rethink it and question what I'm doing.

I work hard and play hard, because I know my work will pay off. Hopefully soon!

and I feel bad because my friends keep asking me to do things with them, and when I tell them that I have no time to do anything, they take it as I'm blowing them off and the "I'm busy" is just another excuse, but I honestly don't have the time to do anything. and when I do have time (which I have to work hard during the weekdays to get), its during the weekends and thats the time I want to spend with my family and Thinh. I'm so use to talking to him for 2 or 3 hours a night, and since school has started for the both of us it's being cut down to 30 minutes a night. So sad!

Anyway, thanks for hearing me vent about my lame life, and my complaints when really, I have it better than 90% of the people out there in the world.

I entered in The Star Tribune's Adult Halloween Costume Contest

http://startribune.upickem.net/engine/Welcome.aspx?contestid=9671

go vote for me (& Mr. Joker)! (=

Thinh, Me, & Toan's sneaky ass @South Beach MIA, FL May 2009

Looking out the window, you can already see fall starting to set in, soon enough it'll be Minnesota's nasty winter. I wish I was back at the beach.

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I'm sitting here trying to fill out my application for The RDIC (M&I's Diversity Council) and they have all of these questions I have to answer so they can see if I'm a good canidate to be on the board of members or not. Well, I"m filling out everything fine, I have all genuinely awesome answers, then I hit the last two questions and I'm at a stump.

One of the responsibilities of the Council is to work together as a team to accomplish our objectives. Provide us with an example of how you have been a proven team player in the past.

....*thinking*....I honestly don't have a time where I was a team player. and that is one of my weaknesses, but it also can be one of my strengths. If you're a regular reader of my blog you're going to hear read the word "independent" a lot. and it might seem a little cocky, but why not be? It's a good kind of cocky, I think it's something someone should brag about, especially when I'm this young (or old). But, yes I am a very independent person. I don't like working in groups because I think they hold me back, especially when someone in the group doesn't understand what we're doing, doesn't do it right, or is just plain slow at doing it. At all of my previous jobs, my managers and supervisors have all made comments about myself being an independent worker during reviews, it's something I'm proud of but I would love to change that. I want to be a team player, but it's something I can't change overnight. I'm just a firm believer of if you wanna get something done your way and the right way, you gotta do it yourself or you'll always get disappointed.

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I really need to find time to clean my room. It's gotten pretty bad since I moved back. When I moved back about a year ago, my room was spotless and empty. I made it look like a tornado had just hit it. and it's sad because no matter how many times I clean it, two days later and my room will go back to being messy.

I think my problem is that I'm too sentimental. I like to keep everything. From old notebooks from my junior and senior year of high school, which by the way was four years ago, to movie ticket stubs and etc. I think I just need to call a maid to do the work for me.

I'll pay you $75 to clean, vaccum, hang my clothes, fold my clothes, move the desk out of my room, and just clean underneath my bed! haha That's not too much to ask for right? and my room is pretty small.

Things I need to find in my room:

safe deposit box keys...replacement keys are expensive!

my bail reciept and my bail papers to get the $ back...it's not my money so it's important I find it!

my passport

my social security card...i know, i shouldn't leave that around but I can't find it

the first Valentine's day present that I gave to Thinh..iono where I threw it. He left it over at my house a few months ago and it's gone

I'm sure theres more to find but that's all I can think off of the top of my head. I just gotta gather bills and stuff w/my name, addy, and account #'s on and shred em all at work. One of the perks of working at a bank. (=

When words fail; Music speaks

I wanna know, I wanna know
Your name, Your name, Your name
Why you gotta be anonymous?

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Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

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I think I'm letting my curiosity get the best of me.

L2R: Son, Chinh, Thinh, & Jimmy Date Unknown, but many of our bowling adventures.

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I've never really been a competitive person ever. I've just never really cared if I came out on top or not. Things sure have changed though. Although I'm still not that great in sports (basketball, football, volleyball, tennis, etc) I still try. I think that's what counts but in things that I know I'm good at, I don't expect anything less from myself. If not be #1, I better be somewhere near it. Like taking tests/exams for school, bowling, writing papers, tetris (on Facebook or v.s. other people), sales goals at work to name a few. Maybe it's me being around guys so much that has me picking up on their characteristics.

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Sometimes I hate being a Gemini. My mind changes so often. One hour I'm feeling this way, the next I'm feeling the complete opposite. How to make it stop?!

My doubts have not gone anywhere, although my actions might speak otherwise.

Like I've said before. There are 52 cards in a deck, but there are 1,326 possible starting hands, which one of you will be my royal flush?

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I wish blogspot would be a little more private like LJ and Xanga.

I'm extremely pissed, sad, and disappointed right now. I worked so hard on my Philosophy exam, only to have it go to waste. 100 points down the drain all because of a mistake. Trying to revise and make sure I understood all 10 questions correctly, I saved the exam until it was 12:00pm to try and turn it in, by the time I was done finding the attachment and tried to send it in, the dropbox closed on me at 12:01pm.

I instantly emailed my teacher, he has a strict no late work policy. I don't know how many students try to pull this off, but I honestly did try to get my work in on time! I'm so sad...I really don't want to lose the 100 points. It'll effect my grade a lot, and it's just the fourth week of school. This is truly an FML moment.

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Payton on his 7th Birthday August 8,2009
I chose this picture for today because life is so much harder once you're in college. Well maybe not college because I still know quite a bit of young adults who still live off of their parents and all they have to worry about is making it to class everyday at 8 in the morning. I would love to be 7 again and have the ignorance of a child. No worries. Life was simple. But I can't complain I have everything I want, therefore I am blessed.

Had to drive to work and school today since everyone is busy. Now that my brother started working, the house will be even emptier. I never got why my parents bought such a pricey house, that no one ever stays in. Everyone in our family is always working, schooling, or partying. It seems like the only time someone is home is from 10pm-6am, then the house is left empty again. Anyone want to buy it? I'm sure my parents would be happy to have you take it out of their hands so they could move to a much warmer place.

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"Good things come to those who wait, but only the leftovers of those who hustle."

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I believe that one of my biggest strengths in life is my ability to adapt to any situation I get myself into. I observe when I am put into a situation that I'm not familiar with, and within a short period of time I've already feel like I've been doing whatever I'm doing for years. I'm a very fast learner, and I love it. It's probably why I'm so confident in myself in whatever it is that I choose to do in life.

Adaptiblity is just one of the traits that I've gotten to know about myself in the past 21 years. Most of the time it takes people their whole lives to get to know who they are, what they want, and what they need. For myself, I'm pretty confident I'm already there. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses, and I use that knowledge to my advantage. I think you really have to find yourself before you could do a lot of things in life, like falling in love, start a career, be happy...I mean if you don't know who you are, what you need, and what you want how on earth are you going to be satisfied ever?

http://kevan.org/johari?name=ymm4t

I've posted this years ago on my xanga, and last year on my facebook already. It's interesting to see what others think are your strengths in comparison to what you think your's are.

Me & Emmy, October 31st, 2008

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One of my favorite Holidays is Halloween. I guess some might not even consider it as a holiday, but it's one of my favorite, and it's coming up really soon. It's one of favorite holidays because it's not everyday that you get to dress up and actually be someone other than well, yourself. In the past I've been Barney's girl friend (I forgot her name), Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Tinkerbell from Peter Pan, the Grim Reaper, the guy from Scream, a ninja, a firefighter, a comedian from MTV's Wild 'n Out (it was a group thing we did when I was in STL), and last year I was a cop. I thought I knew what I wanted to be this year, but I'm not so sure anymore. I only showed the costume to a couple of people, and they gave me the greenlight to be it (they thought it was cute), but unfortunately the costume includes me wearing lots of tight leather, and a full face mask, only one can imagine what that would be right? But I have a feeling whatever I'm doing for Halloween, it's going to get real hot, real quick. Especially in that costume. So I'm back to square one. Thinking...thinking...thinking...

All I know is this year I want it to involve in a sexy/racy costume, a wig (preferably a different hair color than my natural), and some super high stillettos, and of course scary! --Afterall, that's what Halloween is all about, the scare. Which reminds me, I want to go to Valleyscare again this year! Food+rides+haunted houses+friends = awesome time. Only thing with that is T is scared of scary things..he doesn't like watching scary movies and while we were in Vegas going to the Wax house, there was a haunted house in it and he got so scared going through it.

Speaking of things to do on the holiday. T and I have been talking and I think we're really considering about going to Madison, WI this year. That is if we can get a group of at least 8-10 people to join us. But I know GMR always throws his yearly Halloween costume party, and him and Trina are two of the 9-10 that T and I would like to have join us. So, T's been trying to convince GMR about going and I'm gonna have to try and convince Trina. We'll see how that goes! I love his costume parties but a house with different crowds of asians usually end up in drama, and every year it's exactly what it's been, drama. So if anyone else would like to do something new for the weekend of Oct 30th, let me know! T went last year w/all of the guys and from the things he's been telling me it seems like it's exactly like how St. Louis, MO celebrates their Halloween in the CWE. They close a big street down, and everyone just parties on the street. There's vendors along the street selling alcohol and food, and a stage where they have bands play and the costume contest. And of course there's bars, clubs, and restaurants along the street that are open for a full party. It was fun, I wouldn't mind coming down there for Halloween either.

So if anyone has suggestions on what I should be, I would love to hear it! T is going as a Vampire this year..haha if only he was Edward Cullen...kidding!

I made the mistake of leaving a link to this blogspot on my fotki...too many people who know me read this now! Time to move again?

We had our bi-weekly meeting at work this morning and our region's marketing manager came out to our branch to talk to us about our company's diversity council and their upcoming meetings and events and all of that. Browsing through the packet she had stapled for us with all of the events, what the diversity council was, all of those good stuff. Well I noticed that no one on the council was of diverse descent. Everyone on there is Caucasian, which is funny since it was a 'diversity' council. So a thing popped into my head, why not join?

I like to keep myself busy. It I wasn't working full time and going to school full time at the same time, I'm sure I would find something to occupy myself so that I wouldn't be bumming around. Well instead of just juggling school, homework, work, time w/my family, friends, and the boyfriend, hopefully I'll be juggling the Diversity Council.

I've already emailed the co-chair who I've already met, and I'm going to fill out the paper work and try out soon. I'm not an official member yet, but I already have plans for the council up my sleeves. Let's just say, the Vietnamese Community around MN will be seeing a lot of M&I around. (=

I want to advance within this company if it's possible. I love it here, and I can't see myself working for any other company right now. Plus joining the council would open more doors for me to meet new people and network, also learn new skills I probably won't learn in a classroom.

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I wish Blogspot would come up with an app for the Blackberry. It would make my life a lot easier if I could blog on my lunch break, on the toilet, while in class, out at the park, etc etc.

Photo of the Day

Thinh on his 22nd Birthday, May 19, 2009.

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I'm really loving turning these photos into polaroids. I've always wanted a polaroid camera. (=

See more here

--I'm going to start posting a photo a day. One for how I'm feeling. This one is my first, because he's my first.