Earlier this month, Danny's father passed three days before his 70th birthday.
I wished I got to know him better prior to his diagnosis, but I'm still grateful I had 7-8 months where he lived with us so I got to know him more than I ever have the eight years.
I knew he was an amazing human being (Danny definitely takes after him), but I never knew how big of a positive impact he made on others until the weekend of his funeral. Over two days over 400 people travelled near and far to pay their respects; this speaks volumes of the man he was and the life he lived.
Godspeed Mike.
***
I haven't dealt with a whole lot of deaths in life, and it's never been easy for me to comfort someone who's going through grief. I tried my very best to comfort Danny in the wake of the loss of his father, but I still feel like I didn't/haven't done enough to ensure he's okay.
We cried together, we smiled and laughed at memories together, I listened while he shared memories pre-Tammy...what else does one do to support their spouse through grief?
Suggestions needed.
***
I'm honestly not completely surprised by the things you've done; which says a lot about your character. Deep down I knew you were going to do something like this or you may have in the past, but what I didn't realize was how upset and disappointed I would feel about myself because of your actions.
Everyone has always told me they could see your personality in me, and dear god I hope as I age, that statement will become less and less true.
I want to burn the bridge that allows you into my life, but I'm not able to erase everything you've done for me.
...I get so angry when I think about how you're making her feel inadequate and self-conscious.
All of this has also made realize how dependent she is on you, and I never want to be like her.
***
Baby Mar/Ru is almost here! Any day now baby girl, we're all waiting on you.
***
Stay at home mom.
Homemaker.
Full-time mother + wife.
We need a better word(s) to describe the full-time job.
***
It's the last week of my second trimester and in less than 100 days (90 to be exact), our lives will change forever. It's impossible to describe the feeling I have when I think about baby J because I already love her more than anything in the world and I have yet to meet her.
I'm deathly afraid of becoming a mother; thoughts roll through my head all the time like what if she's not healthy because of something I did or ate while I'm expecting her? Or what if she's not smart because I don't push her hard enough? Or what if I let disappoint her as her mother?
But then, I realize I might not know the first thing about being a mom but going through parenthood with Danny is a huge relief.
***
I believe Danny is simply perfect the way he is, and that's what makes being married to him so easy; he's everything I never knew I wanted...never knew I needed. Serendipity.
